They can't find Bin Ladin. Ninty-nine percent of the cargo containers coming into the United States go uninspected. There are literally thousands of human beings of unknown origins just waltzing into our country every week, unchallenged. And yet...

And yet the NSA, the CIA and the FBI among others are cleverly trying to make sense of nearly 300 million telephone records of ordinary Americans, hoping that they will see a "Pattern" emerge from some computer algorithms and that this high-tech system is going to prevent some moron from blowing up a city.

All the computer programs and all the telephone records of grammy Smith and uncle Hubert aren't worth crap unless you've got some people with brains who are running the security show. It's depressingly obvious that who ever came up with this "Patterns" scheme couldn't find his ass with both hands, let alone a pound or two of plutonium buried in a shipment of Chinese lawn chairs headed for Wal-Mart.

There's only one plausible reason why the Bush administration wants to spy on Americans. He's taking over. Goodbye freedom. Hello police state.

Meanwhile, the MSM is reporting that Tom Cruise has jumped up on another couch and that Brittney is having another baby and that Nicole Richey is too skinny.

Nice to see where our priorities are in this country.

Bah!

Since when are groups like El Qaeda going to use telephones anyway?

All that we've been able to learn about their MO indicates that they operate by face-to-face meetings and that frequently only one agent personally knows all the the other participants in an operation.

The notion of a database consisting of hundreds of millions of phone calls is exactly the sort of thing that sounds great in a conference room full of Washington-type suits. It's like the idea of a Big Fence along the Mexican border; it'll work fine provided you ban all wirecutters and shovels in Mexico.

Is it just my 'magination runnin' away with me, or has any sort of critical thinking about anything simply vanished in Our Nation's Capital? Bouah!

Thank you. Thank you. I laughed so hard, my stomach ached. This NSA wiretap thing is so disturbing; it is so good to be able to find humor in something so otherwise humorless. Very clever.

Everybody should just say "assassination" over and over again into their phone during every phone call they make.

Throw in a few "dirty bomb"s, and a couple "blow up"s and "praise be to allah"s while you're at it.

Oh, you might also consider buying a copy of the Constitution so you can burn it.

assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination assassination

How little people here know about how Al-Qaeda functions.

Um... they do use telephones. Sorry to be the one to break it to you.

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but the chances are good that an Al Quadea won't be speaking English. And the chances are even higher that no one at the NSA even speaks Arabic

And so does this ridiculous sham of an article. Is this the best Salon can come up with? Jesus! But back to J Shmoj for a second (and that pen name sounds suspiciously Arabic to me): where you get your facts mon? At the risk of "outing" a loved one (you'll never figure it out with that well-informed brain of yours), I'll just say that I am personally close to several NSA operatives who are fluent in Arabic as well as several other languages and one is my next-of-kin. And yes, A-rabs are able to master English, as well as us 'Muricans can master Arabic. Do you honestly believe these people, who have caused so much hell on three continents are dumb enough to hang out here in the USA making murderous plans while yakking in Arabic? Farsi? Urdu? If they were that stupid even our brainless Chief Executive could have brought me the head of Bin Laden by now. But no! The American public is as ignorant of the problems involved in cracking domestic-based terrorist cells as they are of how a bill gets through Congress! Just keep on believing the NSA is making up "cut-up" sentences out of Joe Schmoe's emails, telephone calls, etc., and that no one in the Agency speaks Arabic - or Farsi - Urdu. You damn fool! First of all, any emails you've sent in your lifetime have most likely passed through NSA hands - it's not anything new - and those people in the (thank God!) only outlaw agency left under the aegis of the US government actually know what they're doing. Which is more than I can say for some contributors to this thread. If we're still able to post these letters it ain't because Allah was willing!

J Schmoj. That doesn't sound Arabic at all. More like the other side of the wall. Sorry.