How can you tell if a Finn is an extrovert?

He looks at YOUR shoes. (Badum bump!)

Mrs. Seppanen

Dear Mr. Keillor,

I am a long time fan. I find that most everything I have read that you wrote or hear you say makes me smile. However, there was a point in this essay which made we wince as I remembered a long forgotten incident. In the last millennium I worked in a bookstore in “rural” western Connecticut. The store was owned by a man made famous by his Russian language abilities. We would have the occasional book signing to give the better kind the opportunity to rub shoulders with the thinking kind. One of these events was to celebrate a new book by Harrison Salisbury.

The cash registers in this store were facing the door in the front and all of these little “events” took place in the alcove at one of the large windows in the front of the store and to the left of the registers. Mr. Salisbury had had a TV program on PBS (the name escapes me—I seem to remember that it was on the press) during that year. He was standing there, looking very uncomfortable with a pile of his books on a stool near the window. The better sort mingled but didn't seem to be intersted in his book or its author, they were there to see and be seen. Eventually a few folks walked over to say hello. They picked up the book, looked at the blurb, and almost every one remarked how much they loved his TV show. Having nothing else to say to a man who, among other things, covered the USSR during the beginning of the Cold War, they then walked back to the wine and cheese. I watched this for some time and once he was alone I walked over to ask if there was anything I could get him. He said no. I felt like I should try to say something so I asked him his opinion of NYT editorial page editor John B. Oakes publishing a letter to the editor from himself excepting himself from the paper's endorsement of Jimmy Carter for President. I was just trying to be friendly and engage in some sort of conversation so I was surprised when his eyes lit up and he seemed very interested to talk about journalism. For about five minutes I got to hear the history of the editorial board of the NY Times. It was very interesting. Eventually my boss invited to get back to work.

Thanks for reminding me of this almost 30 year old bit of fun.

I've enjoyed everything I've ever read by you, going back to the New Yorker days. When I posted a note on your piece last week clarifying your reference to the "bee-loud glade" for a reader who had inquired, and some jamoke accused me of being you hiding behind a made-up name, I was piqued, but also rather flattered. I'm just mentioning it in case you ever get sick and need a sub.

Seems to me that a break-up or two tends to add to our stock of life experience, with increased wisdom a by-product. (On the other hand, someone who's working on number five or six is probably a slow-learner.)

In any case, if I weren't likely to go to prison for doing it, I'd whack every tassel-loafered, cellphone-yakking, sharp-elbowed ass I could, preferably with a large enough brick to put them out for a good long time. Garrison hints at who you are, Donald Trump-wanna-be's and your 12 million neighbors.

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder" isn't news, but being reminded of it so delightfully is always welcome.

I've always wondered why people with no sense of humor, subtlety or irony are drawn to read someone like Keillor, who has such a wealth of all three. For those issuing the negative critiques, please re-read the essay, keeping the above qualities in mind. And try not to move your lips while doing so.

I'm just curious.

The message I got was that you go out, you see what's out there, become grateful you don't have any of the misery you discover out there, then come home and bask in the warmth of your hearth and home.

Regardless of whether the person is married 60 years or thrice divorced, it sounds like pretty sound advice to me.

I like Garrison Keillor, but when you trade your first wife for someone younger and that one for someone younger still, you lose the ability to give marital advice that is either convincing to a young, divorce-weary audience or romantically sepia-toned. Here on Salon, it really ought to be one or the other. I'd stick to themes of tomato growth and English majoring and private investigating.

Rule #1 - Give your mate everything she/he wants with no strings

attached.

Rule #2 - Never ever, ever, ever, ever criticize your mate or tell

her/him that they are wrong or have ever been wrong.

I love GK as a writer but giving advice on being happily married may be a bit beyond his range of expertise being now in his third marriage. As a marriage counselor for more than 30 years, I can attest to the fact that some marriages need to be terminated for the health of both parties. However, most marriages would never make it to the counselor's office if the two parties practiced the two rules listed above. And, by the way, I have been happily married to the same woman for 40 years, first and last.

I chortle to myself. I'd loll around all day and do nothing but read all Garrison Keillor's columns and tell myself that a. I've accomplished much, and b. that I'm happy.

So much brilliance in less than 2000 words.

Thank you, Mr. Keillor, for making an oasis in what is all-too-often an us-versus-them world. Being annoyed is part of living; it's nice to read something that isn't cultivating malice for a change.

As for being another in a long line of people singing your praises and how you'd really rather just hear a joke, let me recommend a really humorous essay:

http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2006/04/12/keillor/index.html