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Wednesday, April 12, 2006 12:00 AM

Want to improve your marriage? Leave the house

Misery is the key to a happy union. Go make yourself miserable, then come back home.
By Garrison Keillor

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  • Wednesday, April 12, 2006 11:13 AM

    Divorce as Training

    Seems to me that a break-up or two tends to add to our stock of life experience, with increased wisdom a by-product. (On the other hand, someone who's working on number five or six is probably a slow-learner.)

    In any case, if I weren't likely to go to prison for doing it, I'd whack every tassel-loafered, cellphone-yakking, sharp-elbowed ass I could, preferably with a large enough brick to put them out for a good long time. Garrison hints at who you are, Donald Trump-wanna-be's and your 12 million neighbors.

    "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" isn't news, but being reminded of it so delightfully is always welcome.

    —A Reader Read A Reader's other letters

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