Letters to the Editor
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Sleep, Sleep
Enjoyable and well crafted as usual, although I much prefer the outright rant as a form. But, a little balance is always good. Life does go on, despite the outrages.
Coincidence that K Chronicles also concern bed and sleep?
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What fun
I love Garrison's rants as well, but this was a fun, domestic, apolitical yarn, and I really enjoyed it. It reminds me of a time -- long ago, in my youth -- when I was trying to transport two mountain bikes attached to the roof of my first-generation Geo Metro. Naturally, when we got on the Interstate (I-70, outside of Ann Arbor, MI), the bikes blew off. I remember looking in the rear-view mirror after hearing them rip away from the flimsy roof mount. They looked like they were floating. A guy ran into them (it was a Sunday morning, so traffic wasn't too heavy). He was driving a station wagon with his whole family (two little kids in the back). He had a rough landing in the ditch beyond the Interstate berm, but nobody was hurt. Still, I was at fault. The State Trooper who eventually arrived to assess the damage was incredulous, but the other driver was actually apologizing to me -- for running into my bikes. Which were AWOL in the middle of the Interstate.
And that's the end of the story.
Cheers.
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Thanks .....
Nobody could have said it better. I'm goin' to bed....
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My dear Garrison - you make my week
I love these columns you do in Salon - the help negate some of the craziness going on around us on a daily basis.
Thank you for all the laughs you've given me here.
Sue.
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my mattress myself
so what?
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so what? That's the beauty of great writing
it's not about the story, it's about how you tell it and the feelings you can evoke by telling it. Home, family, the smell of coffee and the softness of pillows. All good things.
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Your Mattress
"When you've risked your life for your bed"
You risked other peoples lives as well. About two years ago my step-daughter and four year old grandson were in their car on the highway when they were hit by a mattress that came of the roof of a car ahead of them. Somebody had used twine to tie it down.
I can not tell you the grief and pain this has caused my family. Our lives will never be the same
You have no idea how lucky you were. Killing yourself is one thing, but risking others lives becaues you are to cheap to pay a delivery charge.....
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mattress brands
It wasn't a Sleep Number bed, then?
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A New Verb For Janis
"horsed"? I had to look that one up. (I was hoping that Garrison had invented it -- how writerly to come up with a right-on-the-money neologism!)
From the Free Online Dictionary:
v. horsed, hors·ing, hors·es
v.tr.
2. To haul or hoist energetically: "Things had changed little since the days of the pyramids, with building materials being horsed into place by muscle power" Henry Allen.
Thanks for the vocabulary boost!
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I'm with Adam (below)
I too love Garrison Keeler's writing, it's often a sort of mattress itself, with here and there a few surprising springs poking up through the ticking...
but both of my adult sons were in a jetta this winter when a mattress flew up out of the back of a pickup truck... they don't think it was even tied... the car in front seemed to swerve and dodge right underneath it, and it thumped the pavement right in front of my boys. they had no choice but to drive over it and it got hung up on the undercarriage of the car, literally dragging them to a stop, but now on the shoulder of the road. They had to progressively jack three wheels to unhitch it. AND they'd watched as the pickup truck driver pulled off on to an exit ramp just after the mattress took flight. We all know the word that most commonly comes to mind to describe people who do such stupid, irresponsible things. And now this partially includes
G Keeler (at least he dragged the body off the road).
Glad no one got hurt or was anymore inconvenienced by his laziness or lack of real world skills (like using rope???...)
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prairie mindset
I was curious about Keillor's mattress. The reason being: I am writing a piece about bedding or more pointedly "strawticks" because I slept on one as a child and absolutely loved the noise and sweet smell of my fresh straw. When it is fresh from the field, buttoned into a huge denim bag and covered with a thick pad, you hop in and make a nest that perfectly fits your body...bliss. No postra-pedic ever came close :)
And so, I discovered Garrison and his prairie mindset. Sweet :)
~Ada Grier