Letters to the Editor
-
Wait, Percy, My Doilie's Crooked
Oh, my little finger's crossed, so i can't drink tea.
Yesterday, my fortune cookie said that white people are hard workin', even when they don't have jobs!
But my campaign would never imply nor encourage any hint of racial uncertainty in the minds of Americans.
Voter nullification has nothing to do with it.
The people of New York, Scranton, Chicago and Little Rock know that just as well as all my friends in Washington and Columbia and Bill's friends, too, in the Balkans and Jessie Jackson's friends in South Carolina and almost half of Guam and all of Michigan, especially their Governor and the Canadians.
And Mexicans, no matter where they come from or what it says on their driver's license if they don't have one.
So, we must, to be fair, count what doesn't count.
And, because i won Texas despite them being tricked into giving him more delegates, you know i can guarantee because it's a big state, that i'll carry it, even if i have to run as a 3rd, don't make me do it, party candidate in November, obviously.
Remember my heartfelt and graciously historical honoring of that small state marginal caucus organizer on TV?
Oh, you know who i mean. He's supposed to be a Senator. I think his name is Black Obama. Or Jack O Ramar, maybe.
And he's from Kenya; which is almost totally African, i think.
Right. So, now, many of our very small states, to be cute, tried to encourage a fair contest; which i have always thought would be good for our country. And they did it very well, first time out.
So, in that same diversity embracing spirit, i decided to run as a woman candidate.
Now, i didn't have to do it that way. But i just believed it was the right thing to do, probably.
I know some confused novice amateurs think my campaign is blacked into a corner. Or that my path to our nomination is blacked.
But i seriously urge you to black that out of your minds.
It's not by blackcident that i've received every single white voter's vote, encouragement, blessing, prayer, adulation and @ $23.
The young and college crowd will all eventually turn white. That's what they went there for, really.
John McCain knows that i am white.
He'll never say i'm not.
He might say i'm a woman if he wants to. I think maybe his own wife might be white, and possibly a woman.
But let's get black to the election; even though we all know i've already won. We do have some more states that must vote for me before i can officially announce this victory.
And i know i'm gonna win in November. Been knowin' it. You know, they don't never wanna have to call it The Black House!
So, Bill and i will soon be back where we belong, hear?
Oh, i can't wait!