Letters to the Editor
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My most fervent hope
... is that, once out of office, Bush starts hitting the bottle again and ends his days as a broken-down drunk, so embarrassingly awful that even Poppy's pals won't stick him on their boards or prop him up in any of their businesses. I hope he's such a drunken loser that Laura divorces him, and the twins disown him and even write tell-all books with countless cringeworthy anecdotes about what a clueless creep he is, and how things really go down during those inevitably tense Thanksgiving dinners. I want there to be dozens of YouTube phone-cam videos of him stumbling drunk and completely losing it and embarrassing himself in the worst possible ways, with millions and millions of hits. I want every city where he wants to put his Presidamental library to refuse to host it, so that he's forced to put it in Guantanamo Bay.
That's my fantasy, and it's what gets me through these dark days. If I believed in the hereafter, maybe I'd wish for him to burn in hell, but I don't. I just want his chickens to come home and ROOST.