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• Wednesday, January 7, 2009 09:03 PM

  Bush is more powerful than I thought

  Boy! President Bush can cause severe Hurricanes and warm weather for seven years? No wonder why we're all so mad about Iraq. He could have just summoned his climatological powers and blown away the Iraqi regime with a Mummy-movie-like windstorm. He could have done a Mr. Freeze on Osama in the mountains of Afghanistan.

  It kind of makes you wonder why he didn't cause a freak snow storm on election day. You know how unpleasant weather makes the public transit and bike riding comrades stay away. Oh -- I know why. Because he'd have to listen to even more bellyaching about the outcome of the election. I can see it now: MoveOn.org v. Old Man Winter.

  Now I'm really ticked off at Mr. Bush. I just remembered that my Fourth of July barbeque was rained out! He couldn't have just held off for another day? Come to think of it, Columbus day was a bust too.

  But pondering further, this sure blows a hole in Mr. Gore's global warming theories. I hope he won't have to return that Nobel prize.

  Maybe the evil Mr. Bush can be rehabilitated so that after his term he will use his weather-manipulations for the good. I wonder if Mr. Cheney controls the earth's ocean currents? That would explain why he and the President need to be partners. I think I remember reading that when Cheney was in hiding there were noticeable anomalies in the tidal patterns.

  Well, it's a theory. At least as good as the ones that turn up on these pages on a regular basis.

  —atmomouse Read atmomouse's other letters
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