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It's okay, Mark. As long as you sheepishly write a clever and mildly humorous mea culpa (one which somehow manages to luxuriate in your SUV-induced guilt), you're absolved of any personal responsibility! We get it and support you because, hey, who doesn’t like to have things both ways in life!? The freedom to buy and consume whatever we’d like, coupled with the knowledge that we’re still far better than those silly mouth-breathers with their wasteful Navigators or unsightly Caravans – it’s the American dream.
