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"Jeepers, an SUV was placed in my driveway with no effort on my part." Note the use of the passive voice... There isn't a single line in this throwaway that suggests your shrinking conscience was crushed by your growing selfishness. It never occurs to you that your glacier-climbing hobby is a waste of gas, as are you.
Apparently this green revolution I keep hearing about will be achieved with noone changing their behavior, or denying themselves anything. I can't imagine you were ever much of an environmentalist.