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• Monday, January 5, 2009 09:57 AM

  @ had_enough

  "It's all about dick size." (SUV vrs mini-van)

  Yup. It sure is. I hate to admit it, but, had_enough, you are absolutely right.

  And that is why I drive a Ford F-250 Club-cab 7.3L Powerstroke diesel pickup truck that weighs 7,800 pounds, empty, and cost over $40,000, new. It leaves a carbon footprint like a mastadon, but it's 525 foot pounds of torque give me shivers of delight that make my unit hard as good steel. It's sorta like Viagra without the pill.

  I guess I'd hate myself, sometimes, for driving a beast like mine, that only gets 12 mpg when I'm pulling a trailer full of motorcycles. But when it comes to raw power and penis size, well, it's first things first! I mean, you can just imagine the size of MY Johnson once I get my truck running across Nebraska on I-80, pulling 5,000 pounds of cargo at 79mph. Just please don't tell maureenodonnell, okay?

  When it comes to being green, we're all probably still a little hypocritical at times. That's what many of the letters today point out, while at the same time trying to cut off Mark's you-know-whats. I have a feeling we'll make progress with doing more with less, but probably too slowly as the Earth's resources decline under the pressure of our ever increasing numbers. (Come on, really. Isn't population the real problem?)

  As for me, I have a feeling I may never be man enough to move up to a Cooper Mini. But that doesn't mean we can't banish Mark Benjamin to a land where everyone drives goats.

  —DoctorGreeves Read DoctorGreeves's other letters
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