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• Monday, January 5, 2009 10:34 AM

  Evil isn't spelled S-U-V

  What you bought was a car based tall wagon. You can call it a "minivan" or you can call it a "SUV". What you have is something with unibody construction (probably based upon a Galant) and styled in a way to let people know you didn't buy a minivan.

  I looked for a new car last year. I looked at the Toyota RAV4, and Honda Passport but ended up getting a Honda Odyssey (gasp!) minivan. Maybe its my complete lack of self respect, or my low manhood rating, but I bought the minivan because it was bigger than the car-based SUVs I looked at. It is also cheaper, handles better, accelerates faster, and gets better gas mileage. Yes, it marks me down as a suburban living, weekend grilling, "Hey kids, let's go crazy and buy some doughnuts!", typical, boring dad, but then that's what I am. I'm sorry my life isn't more exciting.

  I have nothing personal against SUVs. In Australia, almost everyone has a Range Rover or some other big hulking machine. However, unlike in the U.S., each one of those Australian SUVs are scratched up and covered in a thick layer of mud. No one ever takes a Lincoln Navigator off the road because you will ruin the finish. Here in the U.S., you see a single driver driving back and forth from work driving in something that gets 11mpg. That's the problem.

  It's not that SUVs are evil, its our propensity to buy cars not based upon a need or reason, but because we think they make us something we're not. Thus, we are convinced that we needed a gigantic car we can barely maneuver, that handles poorly, and costs a fortune to buy and maintain. It's a waste of personal and national resources.

  Your car isn't inherently evil. It's all about getting what you need. You have a family to haul around, and most compact cars simply don't have the room to put both your kids and your bike in the trunk at the same time. Honest, I tried. You needed a people hauler and got something that gets reasonable mileage, is going to last quite a while, is comfortable to drive, and hopefully will be reasonable to maintain.

  Enjoy it.

  —qazwart Read qazwart's other letters
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