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Monday, January 5, 2009 12:00 AM

Did I just buy an SUV?

I didn't mean to. I am an environmentalist. Really. But before I knew it, there it was, in front of my house.

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  • Monday, January 5, 2009 06:35 AM

    Minivans are a good solution for you fat assed losers

    Because frankly, about 2/3rds of American adults are too damn fat to squeeze into a normal car. In a few years all minivans will come with a Rascal Scooter option with the electric lift ramp to derrick your bulk in and out of.

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