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Friday, December 5, 2008 12:00 AM

Why the stories about Obama's birth certificate will never die

Barack Obama was, without question, born in the U.S., and he is eligible to be president, but experts on conspiracy theories say that won't ever matter to those who believe otherwise.

By Alex Koppelman

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Friday, December 5, 2008 11:31 AM

@spork_incident

Explain the birth announcement in the 13 August, 1961 edition of the Honolulu Advertiser.

That's easy.

The birth of Obama was prophesied both in the Book of Revelation as well as several books channeled from enlightened masters from Atlantis. This enabled the Illuminati to anticipate this and buy the Honolulu Advertiser back in the spring of 1961, with some helpful funding provided by the Gray Aliens. Together, the Grays and the Illuminati provided the initial cover for this conspiracy. However, in 1963 they parted ways, unable to agree on how to handle the JFK assasination. Nowadays, the Advertiser is a shadow of its formal self, run by a long lost descendant of the Knights Templar who is a complete alcoholic.

Next question?

—paulpsd7 Read paulpsd7's other letters

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