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I think Stalin.com could have several pages devoted to this: include a photo and little bio of each of these sweet and friendly guys.
Seriously, they might make wonderful chefs, chauffeurs and gardeners for alla you rich hip radical chic librals.
Butchers! I bet they'd make fine butchers for you too, my frems.
Beverly Hills, Park Avenue, West Riverside Drive - that's where all of these jolly fellows should go. Just think how nice it would be to have one of these fellows for your doorman.