Piper became the first female vice president of the United States in 2045. Chelsea Clinton became president in 2045.

2045? That's pretty freakin depressing.

That's some interesting casting for McCain and Lieberman. Which is which? Because, frankly I'd cast Dustin Hoffman and the voodoo reanimated corpse of Jack Lemmon.

stuff! But I have to differ just a bit. Palin could not possibly be a spokesperson for Neiman's cause she can't pronounce it.

She runs on a ticket with Newt in 2012. They win the election on Cindy McCain's planet and leave earth in a large gas sucking SUV that belongs to Newt. They continue to write the Human Events newsletter from outer space with an internet connection set up by Google that reaches far into the galaxy. The Google employee who authorized the wi-fi connection is fired and moves in with Cindy.

could be this inane.

Makes Camille Paglia's hairbrained, terribly written columns read like Proust.

Also, laugh free.

George W. Bush is totally more awesomely happy than he has ever been in his whole entire life.

The most accurate prediction of the whole bunch.

At least Lyndon Johnson had the decency to drink himself to death.

... until Jeb tracks him down and beats the crap out of him for ruining his chances in 2012. His dad might even kick him in the ribs a couple of times while he's down for screwing up the family legacy.

This feels and reads like sub-Mad Magazine filler. I love Salon, but this is just sub-par.

And Rachel Maddow occupies the long vacant seat of Helen Thomas in the White House press corps.

And Rachel Maddow occupies the long vacant seat of Helen Thomas in the White House press corps.

10 things to do while brushing your hair? Has Salon become MSN?

Truly one of the most idiotic articles I have ever seen on Salon.

Joan,

You haven't got a sense of humour, nor have your staff.

Spike this bilge from now on please.

Gee, I can barely keep back the laughter :/sarcasm:

Someone got paid to write that?

Ugh!

Ron Paul lives in a bunker made entirely of "Ron Paul" signs.

Now that genuinely got a solid chuckle from me.

Others may find it lame, but I have your sense of humor, and found the whole thing pretty funny.

It was a little startling, though, because from the headline I was expecting a serious article. What has happened to Huckabee and Giuliani anyway, really? When they spoke at the Republican convention it was like they'd returned from the dead.

Everyone knows McCain wouldn't marry Lieberman; he would marry Lindsay Graham!

You forgot to mention that Palin took over the French Socialist Party.

When I accuse it of being "unfunny," I mean that it is, in fact, a reversal of humor. Honestly, some of that reads as juvenile taunting worthy of Flush Limbaugh. We've been winning the war by having more subtlety than them, by having jokes based on what they do rather than how they look.

I really don't mind gloating over our wins.

gloat gloat gloat

I just don't want to go to a sub-Onion place to give "locker room quotes" for the opponents. When satire is well done, it is unanswerable. This was a little too "nyah-nyah."

...he got a podium with an official "Office of the President-Elect" logo on it and gave really, really good speeches about fluffy nothings. Eventually, American realized the ridiculous nature of the Messiah from Chicago and quietly let him act out his term. The scheduled speech after speech for him and hired a staff of a dozen graphic artists to design logos and compose slogand.

Republicans and Democrats united for the first time in history and quietly came up with a consensus candidate for 2012. IN doing so, they all but ignored the new candidates stand on issues and ideology as they sought instead to get behind a grown up with a clue.

Anyone who thinks Sauron would allow an insignificant Orc to guard the gates of Mordor needs to bone up on their lore. Uruk-hai, at least.

...I thought it was pretty funny. Lighten up folks, we need it.

WASHINGTON, Nov 7, 2008 (U.S. Newswire via CONDOM)

The Republican National Committee announced this afternoon that a National Hot Line has been established to support and console Republicans with the results of the 2008 Presidential Elections.

The hot line and crisis center has been created to deal with depression type symptoms like psychotic disorders or suicidal thoughts that may overcome our supporters during this sad time for our party.

Reality is a hard pill to swallow especially when the country in our mind was so beautiful.

Please contact us if you can identify with any of the following in the last 72 hours since our defeat.

If you have had difficulty with coming to the realization that America has completely rejected our Conservative beliefs. Call Us.

If you thought you were having a nightmare as you witnessed people across the United States and the entire world fill the streets celebrating our defeat like the end of WWII. Call Us.

If you still believe Obama is a Marxist, Socialist, Arab, Ninja and you regularly listen to Sean Hannity, Glen Beck, Bill O'Reily Rush Limbaugh or Fox News. Call Us.

If you thought of becoming a member of the AIP since you will never recognize Obama as your President. Call us.

We are offering counseling on the hot line and the crisis center is stocked with Xanax.

Please don't hesitate to call us at 1-800-YOU-LOST.

This message has been brought to you by the National Republican Committee.

Sincerely,

Christine Freaknik of the Republican National

Committee, 202-863-8614

Copyright (C) 2008, U.S. Newswire

News Provided by COMDOM (http://www.condomnews.com)

I second that McCain would SO NOT marry Lieberman. He's too in love with his buddy Linsey Graham. Let them get married instead. Also, Sarah Palin can't be a spokeswoman for any business. Because she wouldn't be able to remember where the locations would be and if the title of the business is not from "real" America, she probably couldn't pronounce it anyway.