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You see, Todd has some Inuit ancestry, Manchuria in Northern China shares a border with Siberia and Siberia is in Russia. In a giddy moment Sarah admitted that she had her eye on Russia and almost gave away the Marxist plot put together when Putin was just a sprog. There's also a countervailing whisper susurrating around the world that Joe Biden is the actual Manchurian Candidate. This evidence is based on the tilt of his eyes but it has been ridiculed by those who are convinced that Joe and Joan (Rivers) share the little secret of staying young and beautiful if you want to be loved.
Then, of course, there's John McCain whose doppelganger returned from Vietnam to perpetrate the hideous Comintern plot and whose impassive expression is a result of intensive indoctrination. Barack Obama's childhood experience in Indonesia was the perfect hotbed for the perpetration of this massive hoax on the American people but his instructors told him to smile a lot and reveal as much gum as possible when baring his teeth, thus sending coded messages to his masters in Chang-Chun. His half-brother, Mark Ndesandro, lives in Southern China and there is manic speculation that he might be masterminding this heinous plot.
People should not forget about the Horus cult either. Is it a coincidence that this was a pharaonic falcon god and that the man who piloted the first plane into the twin towers was Mohammed Atta, an Egyptian? I think not. The followers of Aleister Crowley are also hanging around somewhere too and I wouldn't be at all surprised to find them in Alaska, with its extremes of night and day. Crowley is supposed to be dead (does he think we believe that!) but when he and his followers were expelled from Sicily because of rumours of drug-taking, orgies and perfectly horrid magical ceremonies, it makes absolute sense for them to hide themselves away in America's frozen north before emerging to establish their tyrannical rule. I'm not surprised that Rebecca Traister and other writers on Salon are in such a terrible tizz-wazz with all this going on but "the wolf will dwell with the lamb and the leopard will lie down with the young goat and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together"(The Book of Isiah). This will happen as soon as the wolves take up dancing with Kevin Costner and quit their nasty habit of tearing the throats out of sheep and other vulnerable creatures.
Sarah Palin's "First Dude" is the best-looking of all the Firsts, certainly much easier on the eye than all the First Ladies and that's the only thing I can say with "dogmatic certitude". Then, none of them has ever sported a goatee beard or eaten truly organic meat, preferring the produce of the slaughterhouse it must be assumed. Teddy Roosevelt married another Roosevelt, and FDR also married his cousin - a very inward-looking attitude, although they were East Coast America. It must be unnerving for the NYT, Washington Post and Salon, of course, to be forced to accept that they don't define what is American or unAmerican. Solipsism is their credo. On with the carnival!
