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• Tuesday, September 2, 2008 01:45 PM

  What was that old Was/Not Was lyric: "woodwork creaks and out come the creeps..."

  Well, I won't speak for anyone else but I've wasted a 24-hour cycle blithering on this board so thanks for the privilege. I've gotta get some work done this week but current events are so delectably...interesting... that it's hard not to keep coming back to the well to check in.

  Like many, this is not the only web site from which I garner info nor do I place complete credence in anything that Salon endorses. I am neither a Democrat nor a Republican. But I have been coming here for literally years and appreciate the challenges to my own world view. There are a lot of regulars here of varying levels of erudition and I've learned a lot about both strength of one's opinions, the ability to back-up one's own words and the civility of the commons.

  In the past week I'm fascinated by the mysterious appearance of posters of, how shall I put it, the rightward-leaning persuasion, people who have never opined here before and, if you check their links, seem to have been inspired to join our merry crew of commentators in only the last few days.

  Welcome! Such a marvelous place, America, where the power of politics inspires my fellow citizens, where the revolutionary tools of modern media give us these new found outlets and abilities to make our opinions known and, perhaps, felt.

  NOT.

  Forgive my Chandler Bing moment because it seems awfully obvious to little ol' moi that an army of right-wing trolls, whether individually motivated or formally organized, have been unleashed upon us, kind of like a rain of turds on a beautiful day. The taxonomy varies between the sincere-sounding but completely disingenuous Concern Troll (but I'm a democrat too!) to the completely rabid, barely literate mouth-breathing but allowed-access-to-a-computer Yahoo.

  As most of you have noticed, various techniques of engagement are employed: the simpatico poster who nonetheless smells completely fishy, the Detail Queens who want you to spend a couple of hours debating "facts" as if some rhetorical triumph will win the day.

  Last night I needed to waste MY precious time taking down a few of these folks and in my over-caffeinated state managed to sound good and hysterical myself but it was too much to resist. The refutation of these knuckleheads, while possibly a fool's errand, is hard to resist and last night's Seinfeld re-run sucked anyway.

  Everyone of these folks is a complete waste of time. That's their job. To get us to fritter away our energies on poor Bristol Palin or Cindy McCain's glittery Star Trek outfit. I'm sure those were real diamonds, BTW.

  But there are a lot of real skilled time-wasters and provocateurs here now, some old stalwarts like Elephantsomething, NorbitBoy, tiberian, others. On this thread you can meet such newbies as berlet##, Benny74, JimmyMonkeyBoy, oh shit I'm not going back to look.

  Now no doubt some of these folks are people with sincere beliefs and intentions. OK, I'm just saying that, they're not. They're all a bunch of poo-flinging apes and not worth our attention but, as the Firesign Theatre might say: there it is.

  I like Bob Herbert of the New York Times. Bob's column today is a plea to retain decorum in the agora. Hey Bob, luv ya, but fuck that. I think we leave it to my man Barry Hussein to stay above the fray but I'm down here in the trenches where I can be most useful.

  So what am I saying? Well, not much, except KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE. This requires picking your battles and not allowing yourself be marginalized by some tool who's quicker on the factoid look-up than you. Don't spread bullshit but DO spread the love.

  You and I have endured 25 years of predation, cultural debasement and economic degradation, mostly at the hands of Republicans but with a whole heap of help from their Democratic pals. I'm sick of it and sick of the alienation from my neighbors. Because of my personal tenets I attempt to lead a life of comradery, of Citizen-of-the-Word, of love-your-neighbor. Have I a small nest of vipers occupying some backwater of my soul? Indeedy I do.

  But I'm not going to let it get the best of me. I absolutely hear people like Bob Herbert who plead for comity and I think we do have to patch and heal this broken public dialogue. Kumbayah. Motherfucker.

  But frankly, on many of these issues I'm right and "they're" not and I think there is enough empirical evidence to support that. Where I bust a vein is when I get all this self-righteous indignation from the enablers and promoters of these failed policies, the people who work against their own interests, as Thomas Frank has so eloquently clarified in his books.

  If you're among that tiny sliver of our society that apparently has all the cash (because you and I surely don't), life's looking good baby, the numbers are up, peel me another grape.

  But even people on whom fortune has shone need to acknowledge that things aren't good and help us fix it. I've had the blessing of having lived my life among people of all nationalities, colors, and creeds. I live without fear except the fear that I can't afford medical care, the fear of no work, that my children won't have opportunity, that my parents can age with dignity and the fear that as an old geezer I'll have to choose which pet food I'll have to buy for dinner. That's plenty, right?

  And that's all. Thank you for your eyes, minds and hearts. Fight the power, love each other, get enough sleep, floss and change your underwear cause your mom was right, you never know when the quiet tap on the door of your mortality will come.

  But that famous lady has yet to sing. Until then, give 'em hell.

  —Rance Spergl Read Rance Spergl's other letters
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