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As an "Irish Catholic" (omG) Biden will be familiar with the words and music of "Lanigan's Ball" where the party went wild and ructions broke out among some of the incensed, and inebriated, party-goers. Biden has spent 35 years at "Brooks' Academy learning to dance for Lanigan's Ball" but then, in a moment of inspiration, he's "learning new steps for Lanigan's Ball".
Well, howdy-doody, here's the broth-of-a-boy Joseph Robinette Biden playing the part of Ned Morgan when Miss Kerrigan (this is gender-neutral) fainted. Like Ned, Joe is "so powerful and able... and "tore the leg from under the table" smashing all the china at Lanigan's Ball. For Lanigan's Ball, you can read the Denver Convention where Biden can throw shapes to his heart's content, where the PUMAS will melt into total submission at the sight of a real man with that hard-to-describe presidential look. The flowing silver locks will gleam under the lights as if he's an Arctic fox and, I can see it all now; Harriet Christian will get a tingle up/down her leg, blissfully faint, while whispering "Oh, please tell me where does this hunky guy get his hair done? I can't wait to find out his stylist....oooh, aaah. I've seen heaven in his eyes".
It's just as well that Denver has prepared extra police cells, that 40-person "whip" teams will be roving the complex for signs of unseemly emotional outbursts, because this Ball is destined to be even better than Lanigan's. You've read it here first, free, gratis and for nothing, but for a more detailed account you will have to contain yourselves until the DRUDGE REPORT supplies you with the very latest next weekend. Deferred gratification is what it's called, I think.
