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A ticking clock on the lower left hand corner of the screen as the commercial begins... crowds in the background ... from a gray scale emerges the photo of Obama, the Magnificent, head cocked back, as always, proud, arrogant, noble and ... Imperial as always. The most popular man in the world. The crowds chant ... "O-bam-a! O-bam-a!" Democrats? No, Germans. Berliners. Rallying before the tilted back head, the ever steady stare of greatness ... the great African-American Presidential candidate ... a candidate favored to win ... in Blue State Berlin ... as long as he stays in America. Because in Blue State Berlin, no African-German would ever win as the head of Germany. Not in a hundred more years. Nor, in Blue France; Blue London; Blue Amman; Blue Tel Aviv; Blue Jerusalem.
Praise upon the Earth! Barack !!! Obama!!!!!
The clock ticks on the left hand side of the screen ... a caption -- "Each second represents one day Barack Obama, the most popular man in the world, served in the U.S. Senate." The clock stops at 146 days. Another clock, beneath it, runs ... the caption: "Each second represents one day Barack Obama, the Magnificent, has run for President." Another number clicks ... it seems stuck ... "0" keeps coming up into place. Caption: "Number of hearings the Senator from Illinois has held hearings of his committee."
For the modern who can't figure it out ... the word: "Zero. Zero. Zero" keeps flashing.
Over on the Right Side of the screen ... a smaller crowd.
Voice over: they called him an "Internet dunce," on Salon.com's August 13th edition ... many Obamistas mock him ... he's a dolt, ignorant, an anachronistic candidate ... but then ... the crowds are smaller, more "town hall." (Quick take of Obama saying: "Do these people take pride in being ignorant, or what?" [Referring to the John McCain ad showing Barack Obama, Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears ..."
Clocks click under dunce McCain's image, too. One clock clicks a second for every day Senator McCain has served in the Senate ... it's still clicking as the commerical ends. Another clock ticking ... "days spent in the Hanoi Hilton, as a Prisoner Of War ... starting five years after Barack Obama was barely born ... going until Barack Obama was 11 years old" the senate time clicks something like 15-1800 ... far more days by far than Obama's been in the Senate OR run for the White House.
Voice over: "Senator John McCain is NOT the most popular man in the world. He won't win many votes in Berlin, Paris, Amman, London ... but he's ready now, to be the President of the United States. He's spent plenty of time getting ready. And his Vice President is ready to serve, too, if needed. (If Tom Ridge: you see, both John McCain AND Tom Ridge are combat veterans of the Vietnam War. There was a Draft then, but both men enlisted, you see, not because they had to, but because they WANTED TO SERVE THEIR COUNTRY IN TIME OF WAR."
On November 5th, YOU'LL decide who will be our next President. Will it be the Most Popular Man in The WORRRLD (use Keith Olberman's Voice as he intones, nightly, his "worst person in the world!!!!"), or, Senator John McCain.
If you're one of those millions of "internet dunces," that San Francisco's Salon.com mentions, we'd suggest you consider Senator McCain first. There's more to running the country than knowing how to use the Internet."
But, of course, the people in Salon.com country -- San Francisco know about you -- small town Americans ... just like Barack Obama and Michelle Obama know about you.
