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Friday, July 4, 2008 12:00 AM

Jesse Helms dies on July 4th

Former Republican N.C. Sen. Jesse Helms dies at 86.

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  • Saturday, July 5, 2008 01:31 AM

    Something Nice

    I am absolutely delighted that Jesse Helms is no longer walking the earth, spreading his hatred and fear.

    Helms is a member of an elite short list of people who have come close to bringing me to religion, simply because it would be so gratifying to believe that there's a special room in some place called "hell" where they can join the likes of Jerry Falwell and Richard Nixon on a barbed spit inserted up their nether regions until it comes out their hateful mouths, and slowly rotate for eternity over an unimaginably hot fire.

    Alas, I'll have to settle for them being simply dead. But that is enough. There is joy in the fact that they'll no longer be polluting humanity with their perverted ideas.

    My own beliefs tell me that I ought to feel guilty about feeling joy at the death of another, but I justify my current feelings of delight with the thought that it is the final shutting off of the font of ignorant hatred that spewed from his very being every time he opened his mouth that I celebrate, not the passing of the man himself.

    If I'm deceiving myself, so be it. Like Helms himself, I'm only human. It is only human to feel joy when something which hurts horribly is removed from the scene, and what came out of Helms' mouth was a thorn in the side of humanity.

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