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Friday, July 4, 2008 12:00 AM

Jesse Helms dies on July 4th

Former Republican N.C. Sen. Jesse Helms dies at 86.
Associated Press

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  • Friday, July 4, 2008 03:51 PM

    An Ode to Mister Ugly

    North Carolina's last "great white hope"

    Finally reached the end of his old Dixieland rope

    He left this world with the rancid scent

    Of pork rinds on his breath

    While America celebrated its independence

    And the glad tidings

    Of his long overdue death.

    —Klytus Read Klytus's other letters

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