Letters to the Editor
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Mayberry with meth labs...
I grew up in Greensburg, Indiana, in the southeastern part of the state. Our proudest accomplishments are 1.) making 1/4 of all the world's water faucets and 2.) when a bird or a squirrel back in the 1800s shat out an aspen seed on the roof of our courthouse tower, it took root--and so far, we haven't managed to accidentally kill the Tower Tree.
I have, framed on my kitchen wall in New Orleans, a page from a 2003 freebie calendar put out by the Standard Fertilizer Company in my hometown. Their slogan was--and I am not making this up--"78 Years of Prompt Dead Animal Service." They are also "Dealers in Hides, Tallow, and Restaurant Grease" and have been "Recyclers of Animal By-products Since 1925."
I worked as a reporter for the radio station in Greensburg in high school and during breaks from college. I had a key to the fire department because I'd have to go there (as well as to the police department and the jail) at 5 AM to find out whose house burned down the night before/ whose field the underage kids were drinking in/ who got arrested for D.U.I., beating his wife, not paying child support, possession of under 30 grams of marijuana, or failure to appear on court on one of the above charges.
At least once a week the sheriff's department would get a call about cows loose on Northeast 80, and I always made sure that made the 6 o'clock news whenever that happened.
I also did the Sunday morning show for a while--6 hours of June Carter interspersed with recorded programs from the local churches. One of them ("This is the Church News and Gospel Tidings Broadcast from the First Church of God with the Reverend Robert Browning..."--I regret I can't imitate his voice in type) frequently featured a woman playing hymns with a violin bow on a handsaw.
Religiously, pretty much everybody there is 1.) a member of one of the conservative, fundamentalist, or evangelical Protestant denominations 2.) a member of St. Mary's Catholic Church or 3.) Amish. Ethnically, pretty much everybody is descended from German immigrants, except for the Japanese factory owners and the recent wave of Mexican immigrants.
No Democrat is going to win Greensburg (or other towns in southern Indiana) unless he/she says 1.) "This is how I'm gonna fight abortion," 2.) "This is how I'm going protect your family farms/ bring back the factories," 3.) "Gay marriage ain't marriage," and 4.) "You get to keep your guns."
Even then, it's gonna be an uphill battle.