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We make interior models of the world, that's how we can function in it. This includes making models of other people as well as their emotions. I think that the "mirror neurons" are just part of these models, and that they aren't "hard wired", rather they are built up as children learn about the world and about other people.
When researchers look at neuron firings, they find all kinds of interesting things, like a neuron that fires if and only if (say) your grandmother comes into view. But you weren't hard-wired to recognize your grandmother, your brain formed new connections based on your experience. Rather, this is just the way the visual cortex is organized and we can find something similar for any person whose face you recognize.
So, in my view (though I have no particular qualifications other than as an interested amateur), mirror neurons seem to be an aspect of how empathy is represented in our brains, but it would be a mistake to say that mirror neurons cause empathy. Likewise, if we find that we can't locate them in the brains of autistic children, it will be because their models of other minds are incomplete, and it isn't like we could implant some mirror neurons and fix it.
