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Tuesday, July 3, 2007 12:00 AM

Hip, hip, CAFE!

Some Dems celebrate a new Senate bill to boost gas mileage. But it's premature to toast the end of our high-octane bender.

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  • Tuesday, July 3, 2007 10:36 AM

    Sure I'll Get a Small Car

    as soon as everybody else does.

    I recently had to move out of NYC because I could not afford to pay $1,000 a square foot for a shoebox. I had to learn how to drive. Then I had to buy a car. As far as the learning-how--to-drive part goes, here's what I learned: I'm getting fucking blown off the road in this compact car the driving school uses. Literally. The tailwind of these humongous monster trucks, SUVs, Tundras, Range Rovers, Land Cruisers, Acadias, custom vans and commercial truck traffic was making it difficult for me to stay on the damn highway. And the utter contempt with which the owners of these towering hulks treated someone in a poky lil car was downright frightening.

    There was no way I was going to purchase a tiny fuel efficient car and then sit way down there, only a few inches above the roadway, while people sitting four feet above my head were going to run my cute putt-putt off the road. I bought a crossover SUV with more airbags than any other car on the market at the time, because American drivers are pugnacious and have entitlement issues, two things which are extremely dangerous on the crowded expressways where I live. I wasn't going to be one of those people who has to be pried out of the bent tuna can of a car I see pretty much every morning in photos from my local newspapers. Nuh-uh. And for those of you who want to cite the rollover issue -- electronic stability control and electronic roll over mitigation have reduced rollovers; the fact is that a your chances of being killed by an SUV or light truck are much higher if you are in in a small car. Since most of the vehicles on the road where I live are either SUVs, light trucks, vans or minivans, that, coupled with the unbelievably aggressive driving here averaging about 80 mph, made my decision for me. Fuel efficiency is nice, but everyone is looking out for Number One on the roadways, and I'm no different. Saving gas to save the world and to save a few bucks is all well and good, but saving my life and my kid's life is my first priority. Selfish me.

    I wish this wasn't so. I wish everyone drove responsibly and not under the influence of alcohol in a nice, fuel-efficient car, but that's not reality. You can argue until you're blue in the face. I'm a new driver, I'm over the age of 45 and I want to be on an equal footing with the bad guys. If that makes me a bad guy - so be it. At least I don't treat people in small cars as if they have a nerve to be on MY roadway, the way I see so many other people behaving.

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