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You sound very nice and upstanding, and IMHO much closer to the real meaning of Jesus than the literalists. However, even in this forum you cannot call yourself a Christian without literalists taking you on to call you something else.
If you wish to keep calling yourself a Christian, I urge you to take this conversation back to your church and find a Biblical way to address the literalists.
For me, I have not been successful in that endeavor. I don't call myself a Christian ("Follower of the Anointed One") or a Believer, instead I call myself a simple follower of Jesus. (The literalists probably take that as meaning I am someone who is slowly being "drawn in" by God and will one day share their black-and-white worldview.) In the meantime we can work together and support the REST of the message of Jesus: the Beatitudes, the Sermon on the Mount, and the loving of our neighbors.