Having read the transcript of Foley's chat session with the boy who claimed to have 7 1/2 inches of what I am told is known by connoisseurs of the male form as "boy meat", I am surprised that the title of this article is not "Scapegoating dyslexic Republicans". Certainly I would not vote for someone, gay or ungay, who does not know the correct spelling of Pensacola, a city in my own (and Foley's) home state, incorrectly spelled as "Pensecola"--though this may have been a kind of Freudian slip caused by the similarity of the first two syllables to the word "penis".

I am sure that we are all better for knowing that when Foley masturbates, he uses lotion and his hand, but in the interest of full disclosure one would want to know whether he endorses any particular brand of lotion, whether scented or unscented, and whether he has received any funds from makers of lotion, or voted on legislation favorable to lotion manufacturers.

If entities like the Vasoline Company or Avon (makers of Skin So Soft) finance Mr. Foley's legal defence, he may yet slide out of the tentacles of justice.

It is claimed by Mr. Foley that it is all because he was fiddled with for two years by a priest, thus lending his support to the idea that homosexuality is not innate, but a bad habit aquired from older men--a notion popular among nongays, but fervently denied by professional gay advocates.

It is not clear whether the same priest also plied him with communion wine, but it is claimed by Foley that these messages were written under the influence of alcohol. This "devil made me do it" defense, also favored by Mel Gibson, also holds that alcohol, far from disinhibiting a person, actually makes him/her display the opposite behavior to their true sentiments.

It should be noted that the effects of alcohol did not prevent Mr. Foley from having "aa (sic) totally stiff wood now", so one has to wonder whether this man of 50 or so was also under the influence of Viagra, or something similar.

In short, I suspect that even now that Foley is in balls-to-the-wall self-flagellation mode, that it is still all lies, and the same goes for all the other "see-no-evil" Republicans who are involved in the cover up.

Perhaps now, grateful for the excellent health insurance coverage afforded to members of Congress that has allowed him to take asylum in a luxury facility for the treatment of his supposed alcoholism, he will become an advocate for affordable health insurance for all. In the meantime, he can make amends to Florida voters by pledging to stick to orange juice, our state's premium aphrodisiac, which is mostly picked by the illegal immigrants he wants to exclude by building a fence, and he can console himself with the fact that at least his career as a politician lasted long enough to give him a chance to cast a vote for torture.

You're completely right.

If he manages to evade jail (which strikes me as somewhat possible), I can sort of see him doing this "I was so repressed about my orientation, I was still a sixteen year old virgin inside. So I could only sexually express myself with other 16 year old virgins. Forgive me."

Depressingly enough, he could get a new career out of it.

You have a point, but I wonder whether Foley would have been reelected last time around if he had come clean about being an alcoholic and having a sexual interest in teenage boys.

Certainly it is OK to admit to being a former alcoholic, now in recovery (i.e. not drinking any more), but if you admitted to being a practising drunkard, then no amount of honesty would save you.

This is strange when you think about it, because being a member of Congress is probably a pretty good job for an alcoholic. It is not like being an airline pilot, and you don't have to be in the office too early on Monday mornings. Also a review of recent legislation and votes suggests that a majority of legislators have been under the influence of something liquorous.

Clinton did admit to having had an extramarital affair, but he minimized it, and failed to asked for dozens of other offences to be taken in to consideration. "Yes, I bonked Gennifer Flowers on and off for a few years (nice, she was too) and I would also like to mention that I whipped out my dick in front of Paula Jones under the misapprehension that she was a little slut who would willingly give me a blow job. In fact the little slut refused. No, my wife never gave a toss about what I did, since she had her own sexual interests and we had an agreement that we could both bonk whomever we wished, but for God's sake keep it quiet and immediately get fake marriage guidance counselling if the press gets wind of it."

If Foley had come clean with the electorate about being gay when running for office, you can be sure that he would have done it in a Clintonesque way, saying that, yes, he admitted to homosexual tendencies which had developed as a result of having been fiddled with by a priest ("Protestants, please note that a vote for me is a vote against the Pope")in his tender years, and that, yes, once, or even possibly twice, he had yielded to temptation, but that he had asked God for forgiveness, was now doing penance in the hope of avoiding eternal damnation, and confining his sexual activities to Instant Messaging, and to boys too young to consent, and therefore no temptation to law-abiding legislators like himself.

Any person who stands for public office needs to have an absolutely above-board sexual resume, regardless of sexual orientation.

An above-board sexual resume means that the person has a demonstrated history of commitment to monogamy and has a sexually nonthreatening persona

I'm not sure I agree with this. Much as I dislike Clinton, his sexual adventures didn't tank him. Rumors had always swirlled around him about infidelity, and he admitted to an affair before the first election. Which he won in a big way. Nor did Monica destroy his political life.

What does seem to be important to Americans is coming clean. Saying "yes, I did this." It's the lying that seems to get politicians in trouble more than anything. My guess is that any politician who admits to his sexual history stands a pretty good chance of surviving politically.