Letters to the Editor
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just a reminder y'all
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government.
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Impeach Bush
Bush is a criminal. His actions in office include high crimes and misdemeanors. Impeach Cheney first, then Bush. Even Denny Hastert would be preferable to the criminal, freedom hater Bush. Impeach him, remove him, imprison him. He is a traitor to the American way.
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Dear Bush,
Dear Mr. President,
Thank you for your service to this country. Thank you for your unflagging attention to those things that matter most to the common citizen.
Thank you, Mr. Bush, for endorsing "intelligent design," the new name for pushing creationism in schools. I, for one, am tired of all these liberal activist school teachers shoving evolution down our throats. When I was in high school, that's all teachers ever talked about -- Darwin this, Galapagos that. Even math teachers keep saying "Archaeopteryx" for no apparent reason. Shut them up already!
Mr. President, thanks also for everything you've done to make abortion illegal. The people were rioting in the streets and chanting, "Hey, ho, making the difficult choice to end an unwanted pregnancy's got to go!" It was getting out of hand. Society could hardly function. The stock market plummeted. Abortion is clearly a scourge on this great society. You can't walk down the street without some hooligan doctor jumping out of the bushes with callipers and a surgical vacuum. I'm so glad you're going to change this untenable situation!
Thanks also, Mr. President, for taking out Saddam Hussein. He was a ruthless dictator and every day that he ruled over Iraq, acting all dictatorey, I could hardly concentrate at work. I would be sitting at my cubicle, trying to compose a memo, and suddenly I would think to myself, "Whoa! Saddam Hussein is in power! And he might unleash mustard gas on us all!" If you were to poll me at that time, I would have voted "SADDAM" as the #1 top problem facing the United States. NO DOLLAR AMOUNT IS TOO HIGH to make it worthwhile to put that man in jail! $200, $300 billion? Peanuts! $500 billion? $2 trillion? A SMALL PRICE TO PAY to clean up a corrupt government in a country the size of Wyoming on the other side of the globe!
Thank you SO MUCH, Mr. Cheney, for instructing your right-hand man, Scooter Libby, to leak the CIA status of Valerie Plame to the New York Times and other journalistic publications. Plame was a menace! She had to be stopped! Whatever else you have done right or wrong, outing that no-good upstart Plame has established your legacy. May she never covertly operate again!
I cannot express enough gratitude to you, Mr. President, for everything you've done to ensure that the American heartland is safe and secure from terrorism. I wet my pants on 9/11, but ever since then my pants have been as dry as crispy burnt toast. Thanks to you. Your multi-colored alert system has kept me "alert" and ready to go into action! When the alert is yellow, I know I should get a little twitch in my eye. When the alert is at orange level, I know to duct-tape plastic on my window! Also, thanks for "taking the fight to the terrorists" by drawing them out of their hiding spots in Iraq and making them waste all their explosives in their own country, not ours. I can sleep safe and secure now. No terrorists under the bed with Bush on the watch!
Oh, and a BIG THANKS to the A-1 Bush team for making interrogation and torture fun again. You sent our men and women in uniform a message, and that message was "Do whatever it takes to get information -- even if that means forcing prisoners to simulate fellatio on one another." And our military listened. Listened good. They dragged people naked through their own excrement like heroes, and they owe it to your fine standards of leadership.
I should also say thanks for getting rid of the Estate Tax, or "Death Tax." Personally, I want to be buried with all my money. I worked hard to earn it. Hands off, government!
I know that if you just try a little harder, soon you will be able to fix Social Security, so we ALL can live out our twilight years in untold luxury. I also know you can push through a school voucher system that will totally make kids smarter. And save the protected national forests from becoming fire hazards by cutting down a lot more trees. Less trees = less fire = less smoke = less pollution! Way to go, Bush!
GO BUSH! GO BUSH! GO BUSH! GO BUSH!
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Impeach? yes. Fire? Maybe yes/maybe no.
The impeachment of Georgie Boy may not lead to a "President Cheney" (a very scarey movie). An impeachment by a Democratic-controlled HOR (we can only hope), followed by the refusal of a Republican-controlled senate to fire a man who has admitted to criminal behavior under the guise of acting as leader would expose the current Republican legislators as unfit to govern and could lead to a wholescale slaughter in 2008. An impeachment, followed by 2 years of Shrub hiding in a bunker, might diminish this dolt to complete irrelevence. If he doesn't touch off a nuclear war in Korea, or an Iranian-sponsored terrorist attack before then, perhaps we can all (we Canadians have a stake in this too) get through this mess.
If after all this, the Republicans win in 2008, I can only conclude that the election was, as in the last 2 cases, stolen. At this point, American democracy will have gone the way of the T-Rex, and I will have to move to Tasmania or Pitcairn Island!!!