Letters to the Editor
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George Bush should remain president so we can watch him squirm for two more years
I once cared about the direction of this country. I really wanted John Kerry to win the 2004 election, even though he was only a so-so candidate in terms of charisma and other presidential qualities. But still, he was better than Bush and I thought it was obvious that Bush was a failure so the American people would get rid of him.
I was wrong. Somehow, Bush got re-elected. I don't know if his buddies at Diebold inserted an algorithm into their machines to automatically give Bush an extra 5% of votes, or if they just made it difficult for people in poor areas to vote, or if Bush actually won (I doubt it). But he won, and claimed he had a "mandate." Ha.
Anyway, around that time I became very depressed. I was seriously moody for about 2 weweks. If the American people were really that stupid, then do we deserve any better than Bush? I asked my dad who he voted for and he said Bush. I was apalled. I asked why and my dad said it was because of gay marriage. What the hell? I found myself starting to hate my dad. But I couldn't keep that so I sunk deeper into despair.
Then I made a decision. I decided that it is better to have Bush around, because that way he is responsible for cleaning up his mess. The problem with this line of thinking is that Bush won't clean his mess, he will just make it worse.
So now my position is this -- I don't want Bush to clean his mess. I want him to continue to screw up, just so I can bathe in schadenfreude until I drown. It is like a game. I enjoy watching the idiot squirm and weasel and lie his way out of things. Every time I think he's finally sunk, his spin machine finds some sort of last-minute excuse or saving technique to pull themselves out of it. Then, remarkably, everybody in the media plays along! "Bush didn't know the levees would be breached, only that they'd be topped," they say, and instead of being laughed down like they should be, people actually respond by going, "Ohhhh, well I guess htat gets Bush off the hook then." It is so absurd I want to kill myself, but instead I just have to laugh. We are the biggest group of insipid fools on the planet.
At this point I think the citizens of the United States have proved themselves unworthy of self-governance. We fully deserve Bush. He will take us down the path to ruin, and I think it is high time we got ruined. Maybe in 50 years we might come full circle back to a place where we have humility and respect for the truth. But right now we are stuck in denial as if it were cement and we'd been buried up to our necks in it.
The world has gone global and it is time for them to take over the glory. All the other countries are the 51st, 52nd, 53rd, 54th, 55th, and so on NEW STATES of the United States of America. South Korea can take over in the world of biotech. Europe can take over in setting the standard for currency. Japan can continue ruling the auto industry. China can become the military superpower and when they eventually invade Australia because they've run out of space, we can sit back and pop some popcorn and enjoy the show, jolly good. Brazil can rule the steel industry. Mexico can have all the factories. We will outsource everything until the countries we outsource to become so economically plump and powerful that they start outsourcing too. The distribution of the world's wealth will keep changing locations until it completely transcends geography. Then corporations will take over and the idea of "Nations" will become pointless and quaint.
And then we'll look back fondly at George Bush and remember how we used to enjoy comparing him to a chimpanzee but didn't bother to rally our friends and family to vote against him because we were too busy playing Grand Theft Auto and watching Girls Gone Wild. And we'll be lying in our death beds and wondering why we couldn't stop World War III and how many generations it will take before the deformities in our children stop because of the dirty bombs unleashed on our country by angry Arab terrorists whose family members we killed with cluster bombs and sickened with depleted uranium artillery in Iraq.
Then the mutant generation will rise up and become superpowerful and will have wars over who gets to control the world's only remaining source of energy, soybean oil. Then the great tofu wars of 2137 will begin and finally the computers and robots will take over and send their robots into space to populate other planets with specially designed biotech organisms.
And while exploring space they'll find God, and God will raise them into hatchlings and tell them scary stories at night about a mad killer named Dick Cheney. But we'll all be dead so we won't be around to rent the DVD version on Intergalactic Netflix.
Anyway, impeaching Bush would be keen, but we're already so screwed, does it really matter?