Letters to the Editor
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elmer fuddup
Cary,
This is the first piece of yours I have read that isn't an advice response. You obviously have a talent for humor - I thought this little dashed-off-feeling confection quite amusing and refreshing. I hope that you will turn your pen (keyboard) more often to non-advice subjects, and look forward to your next (hopefully humorous) foray.
"Death is off-message" - I almost spit my coffee on the screen from laughing at that one.
I expected you to use the avian flu - protecting the American people angle, another perfect situational opportunity for fear-mongering satire, but all in all your take was a lot of fun.
As someone who grew up with responsible gun use, shell loading, target shooting, going along on a few (greatly disliked) hunts, etc., I feel safe in saying that yes, accidents do happen with guns and during hunting, but those accidents are usually due to human error or lack of proper training/safety precautions, just as most car accidents are.
Canned hunting is disgusting, and distinctly lacks any element of sportsmanship or fairness to the prey that "hunting" should have. It's about as noble and admirable as shooting fish in a barrel. It is no surprise that Cheney would participate in such a fake macho "sport" -a chickenhawk shooting caged quail.
Of course it's newsworthy - and, sorry, but yes it is funny in a horrible way. Our sanctimonious, war-mongering, NRA-pandering old geezer VP, hilariously without the appropriate 7 dollar permit he is supposed to have, blasts another geezer with birdshot on a canned quail hunt. And why was he shooting so low that someone 20 yards away was soundly hit? Sounds like he was aiming to shoot the birds at an unsportsmanlike time - shortly after being released from their cages. Regardless, you NEVER shoot while turning - you can't visually check the field properly. (I learned that at age 8, for heaven's sake)
Naturally we feel for the victim, but the fact remains that aside from the man's injuries, the situation is absurdly, ironically comic. Cheney will, thankfully, never live this down.
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Cheney was matchmaking!
Once again the whole liberal media has completely missed the point. Vice President Cheney was not recklessly handling a firearm; he was simply putting a Republican flair on Valentine's Day.
Here's what really happened: Cheney wanted to play Cupid for Whittington, but knew that a bow and arrow lacked the "oomph" necessary. As any would-be-Cupid knows, when someone's 78 you need more firepower. And nothing attracts the ladies like that rugged, shot-in-the-face look.
The only drawback to this matchmaking technique, besides the danger of the target dying, is that it may lead to one of those embarrassing moments when his date notices the birdshot stuck between his teeth. Talk about awkward.
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All jokes aside...
Realistically, why hasn't Cheney squelched all the jokes with a sincere, heart-felt apology. And a quick "use caution when hunting". At least admit you feel bad!
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Re: Cheney apologizing
Realistically, why hasn't Cheney squelched all the jokes with a sincere, heart-felt apology. And a quick "use caution when hunting". At least admit you feel bad!
That would imply Chaney A) had feelings of guilt and remorse, and B) gave a s*** about causing another pain and suffering.
By this point in this Administration's run, it is clear that neither apply to the Vice President.
JDL
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cheney's gunhandling
Finally someone in the Bush administration has some combat experience.
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A sickening kind of "hunting"
The image that sticks with me is this obscene kind of “hunting”… dyspeptic old men groaning their way out of cars to have farm-raised birds released right in front of them so these ancient farts can stand there and merrily blast them out of the sky, afterward leaving them to rot. This is not hunting for food, and barely even for sport. It’s just wholesale slaughter for amusement. It’s excessive and sickening.
It’s hard to have an objection to people who kill to eat, who show respect for the animal they’ve brought down. And I’m no vegetarian. But killing any living creature for simple amusement isn’t just wrong, it’s evil. And it’s typical of Cheney, who, more and more, lives up to the caricature of dark excess he’s earned over the past six years.
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I think poco makes an exellent point, actually
How can anyone consider it newsworthy that the Vice President of the United States shot a man in the face? I mean, come on, people. It’s not like he did something that actally merits non-stop, continuous 24/7 media coverage. You know, something that rated that kind of attention, like, oh, I don’t know. Something significant, something momentous, something worthy of endless national focus and debate, like … oh, help me out here somebody! Like, ooooooooo … mmmmmm …well, like, for instance, maybeeeeeeee … getting a blowj —
Okay. You know what? Forget it. I just can’t even … Never mind. Sorry. Move along folks, nothing more to see here.
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Fox News
I just read that Cheney is giving an interview to Fox News to "discuss" the incident.
Wow, I'm *shocked* that he won't answer questions from the larger press corps.
Typical. This is going to be downright funny. More scripted, softball questions from our state sponsored cable news propaganda spin machine.