I keep trying to get this point across. Vice Presidents don't shoot people, they battle harden them. The news is "Vice President Dick Cheney battle hardened Harry Whittington in the face with a shotgun."

As always, Cary offers up some excellent advice.

Cary, this was great. I've heard and read a lot of stuff about this already as we all have but yours just tops 'em all. Brilliant writing as usual, thank you!!! And I love your column too.

Thanks for making me laugh! By all objective criteria, we have no cause to laugh, but I don't know how else I would survive.

David Franke

Right now, secret sleeper cells of small farm-raised migratory game birds are plotting their revenge against America and our American way of life. What you liberals forget is as you make jokes at the expense of Vice President Cheney, the enemy is listening and plotting against us. By not supporting the Vice President, you're supporting the arming of quail and the general moral decay of society. It is times like these when I can sleep easier, with fewer guns under my pillow knowing that our country has legislation such at the USA Patriot Act in place to protect all Americans (including you ingrateful liberals) from quail uprisings and surprise attacks.

BWAHAHA! Good one! Why don't you come out of the column cave more often?

This article should go in Salon's Hall of Fame. Or the National Archives. I'm still laughing.

And speaking of Dan, wasn't the bird that survived Cheney a Quail? Which could suggest a Rovian type of plan to get Democrats back into politics again.

Before the next Republican convention, Democrats send out invitations announcing a good ole Texas Hunt will be held for all former and current Republican occupiers of the White House and Congress. (We'll send Cheney's invitation to Niger so he will be sure to get it).

Details need some work, but just imagine all the lovely targets.

There is a proud tradition of sitting vice presidents shooting people. This tradition started in 1804 when Vice President Aaron Burr shot and killed Alexander Hamilton.

Burr was indicted for murder in New York, but was never tried as he avoided returning to New York. He even presided over the US Senate while wanted for murder. He then went on to plot to take over parts of the Louisiana purchase and parts of Mexico and rule as the emporer.

Of course, sometime it is hard to tell fiction from history...

Was this satire or irony? I have to look it up.

Got it--it's satire. Pretty good, too.

Ohmigosh! After all these years, a new defense for my clients.

"I'm sorry your honor, that gentleman walked right in front of my client's rifle, and he didn't call out that he was there."

Let me think, what was it they said in my firearms safety class? Oh, yes, "Never cover anything with the barrel of your weapon that you're not prepared to lose."

I had a tough day and just finally got home, and the " shote a man" line made me laugh out loud. A good belly laugh was exactly what I needed. Thank you so much for publishing this.

Good show, Tennis.

You should do this more often, Cary. You're good at it.

Not a fan of Carey's answers to the forlorn, but this was well done.

I enjoyed this, Cary!