Letters to the Editor
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hehe
I enjoyed this, Cary!
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Carey - Well Done
Not a fan of Carey's answers to the forlorn, but this was well done.
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This is really funny
You should do this more often, Cary. You're good at it.
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Beautiful!
I had a tough day and just finally got home, and the " shote a man" line made me laugh out loud. A good belly laugh was exactly what I needed. Thank you so much for publishing this.
Good show, Tennis.
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I never would have thought of it myself.
Ohmigosh! After all these years, a new defense for my clients.
"I'm sorry your honor, that gentleman walked right in front of my client's rifle, and he didn't call out that he was there."
Let me think, what was it they said in my firearms safety class? Oh, yes, "Never cover anything with the barrel of your weapon that you're not prepared to lose."
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Not bad.
Was this satire or irony? I have to look it up.
Got it--it's satire. Pretty good, too.
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This article ignores the tradition of VP's shooting people...
There is a proud tradition of sitting vice presidents shooting people. This tradition started in 1804 when Vice President Aaron Burr shot and killed Alexander Hamilton.
Burr was indicted for murder in New York, but was never tried as he avoided returning to New York. He even presided over the US Senate while wanted for murder. He then went on to plot to take over parts of the Louisiana purchase and parts of Mexico and rule as the emporer.
Of course, sometime it is hard to tell fiction from history...
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When vice presidents shoot people
This article should go in Salon's Hall of Fame. Or the National Archives. I'm still laughing.
And speaking of Dan, wasn't the bird that survived Cheney a Quail? Which could suggest a Rovian type of plan to get Democrats back into politics again.
Before the next Republican convention, Democrats send out invitations announcing a good ole Texas Hunt will be held for all former and current Republican occupiers of the White House and Congress. (We'll send Cheney's invitation to Niger so he will be sure to get it).
Details need some work, but just imagine all the lovely targets.
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: D
BWAHAHA! Good one! Why don't you come out of the column cave more often?
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What you liberals forget...
Right now, secret sleeper cells of small farm-raised migratory game birds are plotting their revenge against America and our American way of life. What you liberals forget is as you make jokes at the expense of Vice President Cheney, the enemy is listening and plotting against us. By not supporting the Vice President, you're supporting the arming of quail and the general moral decay of society. It is times like these when I can sleep easier, with fewer guns under my pillow knowing that our country has legislation such at the USA Patriot Act in place to protect all Americans (including you ingrateful liberals) from quail uprisings and surprise attacks.
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Cheney was really aiming at me
Thanks for making me laugh! By all objective criteria, we have no cause to laugh, but I don't know how else I would survive.
David Franke
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Brilliant!!! Hilarious!!
Cary, this was great. I've heard and read a lot of stuff about this already as we all have but yours just tops 'em all. Brilliant writing as usual, thank you!!! And I love your column too.
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Duck
As always, Cary offers up some excellent advice.
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Vice Presidents don't shoot people.
I keep trying to get this point across. Vice Presidents don't shoot people, they battle harden them. The news is "Vice President Dick Cheney battle hardened Harry Whittington in the face with a shotgun."
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I knew this was coming...
But I did not expect it to be in the form of attempted humor. Now, understand that I enjoy funny stuff as much as the next redneck (Animal House, Monty Python, Will Farrell [sometimes], Jon Stewart, etc), but I just did not find this humorous, probably because I dislike all politicians equally, and because it is clear the writer has no experience in the topic. I think Cary's columns are funnier than this. I suppose one reason I find it un-funny, is because so much as been made of it. White House reporters repeatedly (ad nauseam) asking subtle questions like "DO YOU MEAN TO TELL US THAT THE VICE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, DICK (RICHARD) CHENEY, PULLED THE TRIGGER ON A DEADLY WEAPON AND SHOT A POOR INNOCENT FELLOW HUMAN IN THE FACE? HE WAS 'THE SHOOTER'?".
I mean, for you candy butts that have never been hunting, or have never shot a weapon, here's some news: IT HAPPENS, IT AIN'T NEWS! Perhaps, on a local level only. If it was national news, there would be plenty to write about, come hunting season.
Here's the other thing that irritates me: writing on topics about which you are clueless, and not fact checking, to whit: "What's a little buckshot in the face?" A little "buckshot" to the face would render one faceless! Buckshot is about as big around as your pinky, and is designed to kill... BUCKS! (as in deer, or other large game). Chaney shooting someone in the face with "buckshot" would have certainly been news.
Birdshot (as Cary so clearly points out, they were hunting quail), for hunting quail is less than the diameter of a common BB (if you don't know what a BB looks like, stop reading and go polish your Birkenstocks), and is designed to kill a small bird, and not destroy it in the process. Its effective range is about 25 yards.
Since I am an excellent judge of what is funny for humor's sake, and this is clearly not very humorous, I think the reason that some of you have enjoyed this so much, is that you actually delight in the idea of someone in the political party that you oppose shooting someone else in the face. You are laughing at his pain. How sad is that?
Poco
P.S. I am not a republican. I am not a democrat. I am a conservative. Not a lying, cheating, thieving "conservative", a real conservative.
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Poco knows poquito
Okay, I have to respond to Poco. I have hunted, both with a rifle and with a compound bow. I have hunted: deer, elk, pheasant, ducks, geese, and a bird served under another name, but which is famous for living on statues in city parks. I have taken weapons safety classes, and competed in pistol shooting.
To minimize the shooting of a hunting companion is to overlook the basic rule of using a weapon . . .we are responsible for making sure the barrel of our weapon is pointed only at things we wish to hurt or kill.
To say "it happens" is bullshit. So do many other things, including negligent homicide (accidental shooting of a person resulting from careless use of a weapon) . . .that does not mean that it is not a serious event.
Bird shot is little, but there is a lot of it, and if it Whittington was close enough to get hit . . (within 25 yards) two things are clear . . .he was visible, and he got a faceful.
We'll see what he looks like when and IF a picture of him appears.