Letters to the Editor
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What I learned in 2005
Bush isn't the only one who got a wake up call, this year. Here are some of the lessons -- mostly facetiously sad, that some of us learned.
1. Mel Brooks was right. It’s good to be the king….er, president. At least until there is a revolution.
2. No good deed (like giving jobs to incompetent friends) goes unpunished. On the plus side, the punishment is visited on others.
3. It’s possible for a drunken frat boy to make good, but apparently not to actually do good.
4. It’s a myth that taking lots of vacation keeps you on your toes.
5. It really is better to be rich than poor.
6. Money is the root of all evil. At least in Washington.
7. Sometimes the biggest news is what’s being kept out of the paper.
8. Don’t believe everything you read. You don’t know where it’s been.
9. You really can judge a man by the company he keeps.
10. If a man is smirking, it isn’t a quirky personality. He’s a lying SOB.
11. Mountain biking can be hazardous to brain function in certain individuals
12. “Let them eat cake” was a good slogan then, and apparently it’s a good slogan now…although updated for modern peasants.
13. Anybody – literally, anybody -- can grow up to be President.
14. Richard Nixon was an amateur.
15. If you keep harping about being a Christian and use it to bludgeon others, you are exempt from behaving like one, yourself.
16. It’s uplifting to oppose abortion when you don’t actually have to care what happens to all the little bastards afterwards.
17. If the meek are going to inherit the earth, they’d better grow some balls and take a stand that will win back the government. (Feel free to substitute Democrats for meek)
18. People will believe anything, or its ancillary, there’s a sucker born every minute.
19. The inmates are running the asylum.
20. If it walks like a duck or gives money to a duck…..
21. It’s ok to be unethical, as long as you can prove, more-or-less, in court that you didn’t actually break a law. Just bending doesn’t count.
22. Power means never having to say you’re sorry.
23. Cheaters most certainly do prosper.
24. The (social security) check is in the mail for the moment…but the fox is in the henhouse. Those two things are inexplicably connected.
25. Every vote counts, until Diebold gets ahold of it.
26. We’re all equal in God’s eyes, except for those other people who aren’t.
27. Vegetative people in nursing homes deserve to live, but 20-year old Army Reservists from Tennessee don’t.
28. If God wanted us to worry about hurricanes, he would have sent one to Crawford. “You did a heckuva job keepin’ that hurricane outta Texas, Brownie.”
29. Healthcare? We don’t need no stinkin’ healthcare. The people who count have it. And if anybody else gets sick and dies, well that’s just the will of you-know-who.
30. It’s a new year. Make it count. Or assume that we’re safer and more secure than we’ve ever been and just sit here and watch as a big mushroom cloud emanates over the country while Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, and whoever else is still unindicted, hold hands and smirk as they wing off into the sunset on the Enola Gay….uh, I mean Airforce One. As it trails a sign reading “Trust me”. Yes, it may be a little over the top, however, in the immortal words of Pogo, “I have seen the enemy, and he is us.”
Nita Martin