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I don't know why I keep reading Salon. I'm a Southerner and I have yet to read a single article by one of you New York pencilnecks about my region that doesn't get everything wrong. I'm a pencilneck myself. But that isn't the point. The point is that you Earnest New York Ivy League Right Thinkers are incapable of writing about the South without fucking it up. We hate you and your delicate analyses of our culture. We hate the lyrical way in which you celebrate our tragically corrupted authenticity, leavened only by the presence of the black angels whose innocent suffering will ultimately redeem our benighted region. We hate your fake gourmet versions of our food even though they are obviously better. We hate your bien-pensance. Salon.com should be called articlesthatappealtobienpensantdouchebags.com. I am sort of a leftist. I hate all that Republican crap as much as you New York pencilnecks do. But I can't stand it when you write about the South. Stay up North, we don't like you.
