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Wednesday, July 8, 2009 12:00 AM

Inside the biggest, weirdest funeral ever

Not nearly as crowded or wild as expected, the Michael Jackson memorial was a strange, somber affair to witness
By Amanda Fortini

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  • Tuesday, July 7, 2009 06:57 PM

    In that Martin Bashir interview cum documentary cum hit job,

    Mr. Jackson bought a jewel encrusted sarcophagus. Mr. Bashir asked Mr. Jackson if he wanted to be buried in it. Mr. Jackson replied that he wasn't going to die.

    Of course, most Americans are equally deluded, since they consider themselves equally immortal. It's just that in Mr. Jackson's fantasy he had no need of a coffin. For most Christians, they believe that their coffin is the portal to immortality.

    —bigguns Read bigguns's other letters

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