And also the completely unsubstantiated claim that "everyone is intersexed".

Yes, priests can be bigots and evil, and some have molested children. But even if A SINGLE PRIEST told this person it would be OK to commit suicide, doesn't it seem a little too perfect that they went out promptly afterwards and did so? How does the author, or ANYONE, know what was said in the confessional? Did the priest also violate that, and pass around the great story of how he drove an intersexed person to suicide?

And if the rationale is that the suicide victim left a note, or an accusation, isn't it just as possible that they read something into what the priest said that wasn't there? I am not Catholic, but I have a seriously hard time believing any clergyperson would think it appropriate to counsel a member of the congregation to kill themselves.

Everyone is NOT intersexed; heck, if that were true, the term "intersexed" wouldn't even make sense. The fact is that the vast, vast majority of human beings have a very clear sexual identity, gender and sex, and that is either male or female, and it is quite unambiguous.

"Intersex" is a tragic medical DEFORMITY. As such, people with this condition need to absolutely be treated with compassion and kindness. As far as those suggesting we do nothing, and have children (even a tiny number) grow up without a sexual identity, and then "choose" surgery at age 18 -- I think this is both ridiculous and cruel. We would not talk the same way about a child with a cleft palate -- hey, let's let him grow up with a deformity, problems eating and speaking, ridicule from society and other children...then "choose" corrective surgery as an adult.

Most deformities are better off corrected when a child is very young and has a better chance of adapting. Like the cleft palate child, a intersexed child will never be exactly "normal" and it is not so shocking that some intersexed children choose another sex, or androgyny as adults. But parents have to deal with the "now", and I believe it is better to be raised as one sex or the other.

I am baffled by the poster who suggests that "nobody will see you naked" as a child. They must have had a very Victorian upbringing! As a tiny child, I frequently splashed naked in a little inflatable pool with other toddlers. I played innocent games of "doctor" with other children. I took baths with my sibling. Later, as an older child I went to camp and gym class, where there were "open" mass showers. In gym, I dressed and undressed in open locker room areas with no privacy. My kids faced the same situations; nothing had changed in 30+ years. Privacy is usually not a huge issue until puberty.

An intersexed child would be virtually tortured in most schools, even with strict adult supervision. What bathroom do they use? What do people call them, "it"? They will have it made clear very quickly that they are outcasts. 65,000 (which I think is a wildly inflated number) sounds like a lot, but it would work out to most children being the sole intersexed kid in their school.

We read a lot here on Salon about transsexuals and sexual reassignment surgery, but in truth, most of these surgeries were created for the intersexed, not for unhappy body dysmorphics who are physically normal.

It is interesting that a crowd that cries frequently for the rights of people to mutilate healthy normal bodies, is so cringey and hesitant about the idea of parents who lovingly and compassionately need to make a life decision for a severely handicapped infant or toddler. I find that despicable.

Most parents are doing the best they can, within the medical/technological limits of the time they live in. Their decisions need to be supported, and their children need to be treated with respect, compassion and understanding. "Guessing wrong" is pretty much standard operating procedure when you are a parent; you do the best you can, and hope the rest gets sorted out as your child grows up.

Bashing people for "not choosing perfectly" and second-guessing them, or guilting them, and for mostly political reasons, is just inhumane. Doctors and parents are doing the best they can, with an almost impossibly difficult situation.

I agree with Callahan that there's a continuum, but I don't think everyone is intersex. Callahan's statement would seem to show his own rigid views of male and female, if he truly believes nobody fits perfectly into those definitions. Kinsey's sexual orientation continuum had 0s and 6s on it, Callahan's continuum should be similarly open-minded.

I agree with racetoinfinity; I was surprised to see sexual "preference" rather than sexual orientation.

dmn660 brings up a child who has had no surgical intervention having to shower with peers. Am I the only person in America who got all the way through twelfth grade without ever having to shower in school?

If I had an intersex child, I'd delay any surgical intervention until puberty (or 18, if s/he hadn't made a strong decision). 50% chance of being wrong is just too much and the consequences are often tragic (remember David Reimer). I'd give the kid a unisex name and announce his/her gender as female (less physical bullying in school, physical shyness more acceptable). If the school district had the sort of shower policy everyone else seems to have suffered, I'd simply get the kid's doctor to write a permanent gym excuse.

"I ain't no gubdamn innersex! I'm 'merican!"

As far as the veracity of the priest story, given the Catholic church's assertion that God makes no mistakes and has a hand in everything, an intersex child refutes that. It might be best to dispose of contrary evidence.

it's a pretty clear distinction.

-- John Anderson

Does that mean if a woman cannot have children, she's not a female? Only women between menarche and menopause are female? Anyone with Premature Ovarian Failure is no longer female?

What's the cut-off for men? When your sperm count drops below the threshold for fertility, you are no longer male?

---

Insistence on sex as polarized end points (male/female, fertile/infertile), rather than a varied human spectrum, is interesting. It illustrates how rigidly our culture enforces gender roles and how many people rely on classifying their own and other people's worth based on (perceived) sex.