And this means what to me, exactly?

like, i get that this is supposed to be completely ironic, or sarcastic, or at least wry.

but, i can't help but feel like Heather still doesn't quite stand for anything.

or, is that the point?

like, i guess my question is, what is the point?

oh, and i blame mothers for wars because they work really hard to give children the finer things so that their children will never have to suffer the indignity of NOT being able to feel better than everyone else outright.

they all play "his majesty, the baby," and have the nerve to be surprised when they raise tyrants.

happy mother's day, mom!

Well, then, let me be the first to give HH a hearty laugh and a big high five.

As a mom/grand-mom, I hear ya.

I enjoyed your article, and perhaps the nay-sayers are those very hard-bodied types that you (and I) once were.

Cheers and Happy Mother's Day.

You may not have a kid, but you've got a mom, right; at least if you're still lucky enough to have her.

I guess that didn't quite fit into the snarkiness, huh? Too much fun slamming that tequila to call her!

Gotta love SALON, you can always count on it to take something as simple as 'Happy Mothers Day' and make a weapon out of it.

I know that if I had children, I'd love them. I'd probably be happier. Kids are great. But I care more about the long term survival of my species than about my own happiness. Given our current population and resource consumption, we're going to have a die-off at some point. The more we breed and consume now, the worse it will be. The question is whether we'll be able to recover from it-- whether the easy energy sources will be depleted or ruined by the time we can rebuild. More children aren't what the world needs now. The very last damn thing the world needs is more Americans.

I wish you and your children the best. But please don't slander the motives of people who, for all you know, are making sacrifices to make your life-- and everybody else's-- better.

I appreciate the shout-out to ME.

I know you're a dog person, though, so I just want to mention that when you are thinking about doing stuff with the kid, AKC has a scholarship program for junior handlers--and they can do Agility or Obedience, not necessarily Conformation. It's a nice family sport, even though I told a local Junior that I fucked up a weave pole entrance today. Hey, at least she's relating to an adult on an adult level!

Just saying.

No, not really. Mine left the family when I was about 3, stayed out of my life for years and died homeless in a snow bank about 20 feet from her "tent."

being a biological donor does not make you a "mom."

and for people like me, mother's day is miserable. Not only for the loss of my own mom, but the retardation and partial autism of my daughter, a loss in its own right.

lots of people are in pain on mother/father/wtf ever day, and while satire might help for awhile, the ache lives on through the rest of life.

...and yawn, too.

This article is another example of someone who realizes after having a trans-formative life experience (having a child, wow-who knew??) that they were once a jerk. Then they go on to write an opinionated essay using sweeping generalizations to point out to all the other jerks that they too, should change their ways (um, by having a kid???). I used to be a jerk like you, but I'm a mom now. Lets have a war over this...um, cause *that's* what we need.

again, yawn.

The assumption here is that single childless people are selfish (stereotype), don't give a crap, and are somehow moral midgets compared to all those breeders out there.

Breaking news lady- there are alotta good moms out there...but, uh, there are alotta shitty ones, too. I'm glad that you found a way to love unconditionally, I am truly glad. But that is no reason to write a piece that is rampant with judgment and assumptions.

I get that this article is attempting to be funny, snarky, ironic, sarcastic, whatever. But it does not quite pull it off.

It frankly, just sounds whiny and self-centered.

Try again.

LOL...Just wait, there's a switch that goes off in toddlers right as they turn two which will make you wish for those days of sloth and quiet Sundays with a hangover and a full English brekkie. :) I swear, if women wrote books in a brutally honest way about motherhood without the fear of being lambasted as bad mommies, nobody would have kids.... :)

To those of you who have decided not to have children; great, good for you, you are no better or worse than anyone else.

To those of you who have decided to have kids; wonderful, same goes for you.

Personally the only people I feel like heaping scorn upon with regards to reproduction are those who have more than 3 chilren. That's selfish.

Loved your piece! (Especially the part about free range chickens as well-adjusted edibles.)

Why some folks respond to your irony as if it were serious is beyond me. Has it occured to them that Colbert enjoys himself too much to be a wingnut? Maybe not.

...or at least the ability to sense when someone is trying to amuse?

Heather, you're the kind of mom that this single, messy-haired, pining-over-some-jerk woman would love to have a margarita with.

Now find someplace to store that kid and come meet me at the bar.

Happy Mothers Day!

At least someone is paying attention to us kidless women. I gave my dog some extra treats today, hoping for that extra special Mothers' Day present. But I suppose every day is mothers' day to him.

I wonder what she'll say to her own kids if they decide to not have kids or can't have kids. That they can't be transformed out of their selfish useless lives? The article is a little douchey. I get she is high on the love, but it's a little OctoMom. Kids don't transform people into fine human beings. Also, if she was aimless and useless before having kids, she's still that person at the core. Writing a hallmark card to her kids doesn't change that.

It's a set up for the kids being on the psychiatrist couch to be set up to be the golden drip from her uterus. Giving a child the job to change you into a goddess or even having a kid as a retirement plan, a plan to get out of loneliness, a plan to not care about men so much, or to finally, finally, give your life meaning actually means you trifle with the value of a child's life.

Because a single, childless person has the same value as a mother. Point blank, they do and this is honored at the core of most religions. I know, it seems like you are on God's lily pad to be honored, but truly, if you value life, you have to value all life: rich, poor, childful, childless. If you didn't get that when you were single and childless, you still don't get it as a member of the "transformed" class. Maybe you should wear a "transformed" badge so everyone would know your douchey-ness. Again, we can get the appreciation for motherhood, but being a douche and putting down single childless people from the position of moral superiority is embarassing for you.

I get the joys of parenthood. I have a child myself. But I also work in my career at the front lines of family planning. I strongly believe that until we as a society values the childless choice, we will not achieve the goal of having every child being a wanted child. If you are lost and without meaning, the answer is not to have a child and to give that child the job to fill you up. There are many childless, compassionate people, Jesus, Nobel prize winners, great artists and social reformers, and I believe that many who deliberately decide NOT to be parents can be the best choice.

How many teenagers go the route of pregnancy to find meaning, then discover the real truth that their children pay the heavest price? How is that for valuing life? Don't lay the meaningless of your life on the altar of babylessness. Every person and every soul is capable of great things and has equal value.