I have no idea how a mind like yours works. Widowed 18 months ago, I've started to "date" (if that is the correct word since the language is entirely new to me.) I was married 38 years. Friends seem most interested in setting me up with rich widows so I can help them manage their assets. Women my age seem ancient to me which is a horrible thing to say, I know, but who is judgeing me? If they're too young, I feel like a thief. If too old, they don't have the "child-like" spark that turns me on. One goes forward it seems, or back. No, I am not asking for your services. I suspect the greatest thrill could simply be confounding any "matchmaker" on paper, in the internet, or in person that dares to think their paltry experience could give them any insight into mine.

I appreciated the optimism in this piece. I am a 50 year old widow and wanted to start dating. I asked friends and co-workers to keep me in mind if they knew of a man who wanted to date. I've had some blind dates that were not so great and some that led to a few months relationship, and yes, I now have stories to tell! My married girlfriends love hearing about my dates. Keep setting your friends up! Everyone deserves to find that special someone.

Maybe you secretly hate your friends or are just jealous of the happy ones.lol

Remember~~

Married men live longer than single men however, married men are more willing to die.

I am born again single.HA!!

Over the years(and years and years and~~~~), I've learned that what works best happens by itself.

I stay away from "lonely" women and have learned how to sssssssssslither out of getting "set up/fixed up".

I've gone on blind dates in the past and have found the only ones which can be fun/relaxing, etc were those during which I was glad that wasn't with a clingon and she was furtunate that she was blind.lol

As it happens, I'm involved in a situation with a lady that may or may not work out.

but she's not a troll.

then why do you read it?

You are funny. (Other posts, obviously). Don't give up. You'll find someone who will appreciate you. Does that sound like a fortune cookie? I meant it. Curtis is a woman (with, yes, a weird name). I don't know where the negative energy is coming from - it's not from her. She means well and I think those who know her know that too. Perhaps it's the Day. It's only a day. It doesn't mean anything. You can meet your True Love the day after Valentine's Day. Probably you won't realize it. It works that way. Real Love is a gift of God, people aren't that good at picking. Hey! that is the point of the story, isn't it? Jeremy and Kelly.

Because Sittenfeld has got the clueless, insensitive, and selfish voice of "matromania" types down cold.

I'm a few decades beyond dating, but I thought the article was cute. I only went on a blind date once. A friend thought we'd be perfect for each other. The date was thin, dry, snobbish, exacting, and talked nonstop about her patrician forbears who had come over on the Mayflower. Gradually I became depressed realizing what kind of person my friend thought I was.

i think you and i have the same idea about setting up friends: it's an expression of love and concern towards your friend, not an expression of judgment.

i think it doesn't work because too many of your friends have the same idea about it that so many of these commenters do: that it's a judgment and an unacceptable meddling.

a friend tried to set me up once and i really appreciated it ... until i actually met the guy and the guy inadvertently offended me to the core. i would STILL appreciate being set up, even if it didn't work out, simply because of what it says about my relationship with my friend.

My goodness mercy me, some folks have obviously had some unfortunate blind dates indeed. Unless Curtis is setting his friends up with Ted Bundy or Ann Coulter, it seems more likely he just wants them to be as happy as he is himself. And he is, as noted in another letter, actually thinking about someone other than himself. That's a nice change of pace in itself.

wow...I thought I was bitter

I did it for the lulz!

"'I Did It For The Lulz' (IDIFTL) is a catchphrase which serves as a catch-all explanation for any trolling you do or any internet drama you cause. If you are experiencing troll's remorse, saying 'I did it for the lulz' three times out loud should clear your conscience, therefore cleansing your soul in all circumstances... no matter for all those dead Sudanese."

(From http://encyclopediadramatica.com/index.php/I_did_it_for_the_lulz)

Curtis - I am a single woman in my late 30's - I am in the midst of an attempted set-up by some dear friends - the man and I have exchanged e-mail, and now I own him a returned phone call... but I am soooo hesitant! But I love a good story as much as anyone, so in that spirit, I will return the call and not make a bigger deal of this than is necessary! thanks for the push! Happy Valentine's Day!

And so, by extension, is Valentine's Day, matchmaking, marriage and the whole pile of crap that deluded people write about in February.

And stop interfering with other people's lives. Let them go to Hell in their own way, and you do the same.

or something like that

Don't worry Curtis - those of us who have been set up like the stories we get from those crazy dates. Some day I'll tell you the story of my blind date where he brought his lesbian roommate to see if maybe we'd all hit it off. 13 years later, I still love this story and it cracks people up. Oh, and there can be successes. My husband (obviously not the same guy) and I set up two of our friends and they have been married 4 years now. So don't give up. At worst you get a funny story, at best you get a lifetime of funny stories.