Once at a Passover seder somebody's grandma snapped at me, totally out of the blue:

"I hate it when people kiss their dogs."

I said:

"It's okay as long as there's no tongue."

Just what I needed, HH! I've been brooding a bit, missing my Australian Shepherd, "Frisco", who died a year ago--January, 2008. I still have lovable big lug "Louie", a Golden Retreiver mix who was adopted to fill out the family, and, inadvertently, for "Frisco" to herd. A larger-than-average female Aussie, "Frisco" never learned doggie-communication-skills(Adopted too early--she was in my arms at only five-and-half-weeks-old, this caused her to miss the crucial "socialization" time with her pack, during ages 6-8 weeks), and so she was loathe to actually "play" with other dogs, and was incredibly friendly(wiggle-butt) with people, and aloof or even "snobby" with other dogs.

"Louie" has buoyed me for the most part, and at times, I think he misses her too. (He often will snuggle on "her" sofa in the basement, even though his sofa is much larger).Mostly, he stays upstairs with me, looking up at me with the warmest brown eyes that every pet owner recognizes as their companion's only!

Your article had me smiling--howling(sorry, I could not resist!)--all the way through. What a delight to read of HH's own predilections.

Ode to doggies, indeed!

Peace to you.

"Frisco" 's passing--and her life--are detailed at:

www.lisananetteallender.blogspot.com

in the Archives under January, 2008.

I'm pretty sure that's best article I ever read. You sound like my friend Tami, back in Syracuse. I'm with her as far as dogs, all the way. I won't bore you with why Skitch (aka "little mister" "mr mr" "fag-boy" etc) has my heart, but he was a rescue animal, a 3/4 size Miniature Pinscher with some Chihuahua in him, and was brought in to where Tami worked, completely crushed on his hind end, by a sensitive lad in a pickup truck on a rainy night, and had scars that were typical of little dogs that had been used as what's known as "pit bull bait."

One of my biggest concerns, far and away, right now, is that he lives long enough for me to finish my chemo and followup, here in Minneapolis, so I can catch a train back to see him in Syracuse. I promised him I'd be there when things got rough, and even though he gave me that "you do realize I don't understand that noise coming out your head right now", look. I know, and that's enough.

I know, I'm sick, in more ways than one,. But your lovely, strike that, "perfect" article, which had me reading all hang-jawed like some kind of feeble Neanderthal and laughing so hard, [Which is really a gift these days, Heather, and thanks for that, too] was that one thing that I needed today. Thank you so much. And Bless Yer Heart.

HH: "Yes, it's true, Millan doesn't entirely approve of projecting our emotional needs onto our dogs. But what does he know?"

A lot!

HH: "What does he (Cesar Millan)know of the deep pathological neediness that lurks in mortal souls?"

Again, A lot!

Cesar is a fairly recent immigrant who comes from a culture that still retains a very strong sense of community and family. He has written about the loneliness and lack of connection he has observed in Americans and how they ofter display this by infantilizing their pets.

"Cesar is a fairly recent immigrant who comes from a culture that still retains a very strong sense of community and family."

and they looooooves their bull/cock/dog fighting, too.

fuck off. i'm naming the next dump my bulldog takes after you.

You might want to check if your distemper shots are current. Nowhere in my letter was I defending any person –or culture that mistreats animals (and yes, Mexico has egregious animal abuse problems).

My comments were about how Cesar thinks that many Americans treat their dogs like little human babies and not as a species that have very different needs.

By the way, the kind of pet owners that I just mentioned are often socially retarded morons: the kind of people who can’t critically read a simple paragraph— and often like to name their dog’s shits after people they don’t even know.

Down bitch, down!

Dogs are awesome.

I think dogs are fine people, but like people should urinate and defecate at home, preferably in the toilet. If I, or any of my ilk,behaved as dogs do in public places and spaces, we would be arrested or sequestered. And as for sniffing genitalia, where would that land us, in jail or at the psychiatrist's office?

Dogs, babies, great books, margaritas, long naps, enormous oatmeal cookies: thus Heather names the important things in life.

And she gets them all right. I don't think anything truly essential is missing from this list. I am feeling positively religious about them.

I therefore propose the Church of the Oatmeal Cookie, to include veneration of all those other things on Heather's list. Talk about your communion wafers. And margaritas in the chalice. And a quiet, obedient dog as the priest's acolyte.

This surely is the True Path.

This article really reminded me, in its tone, of some of Heimel's best work. Chatty, confessional, a bit neurotic, and hilarious. Well done, HH!

My current rescue beagle, 2 yr with some health problems is a dog. Not a person. Not that people are that great. But treating a dog like a person isn't good for the dog and it isn't good for you.

You gets the doggy stuff.

I love my dogs because my dogs love me. No matter how sick, twisted, or dysfunctional we may be in certain aspects of our lives/training, we love each other.

And that (plus a giant oatmeal cookie) is where it is at.

P.S. Dog owners should make a better effort to remove doggy poopies. We're starting to thaw out here, and it ain't pretty along the bike trail right now...