Let McConnell and Boehner (heck, even Reid an Pelosi when they get squirrely) deal with a woman in the last trimester of her pregnancy. Congress would get its act together in a hurry.

John Cornyn should have to deal with a woman in the last trimester of a twin pregnancy, just because he's being such a dipstick.

Ok, you just made Salon twenty five bucks, or whatever the subscription price is to this thing. I've been drafting on my wife's account for a long time, but it was your article, Heather, that made me subscribe to say: that was freakin' funny. Having lived with a third trimester woman a couple of times, I can say that not only is your idea funny, it might just work. I still remember trying to tell my loving wife in her third trimester (shudder) that it would be a good idea for her to avoid the taco she wanted and have something healthier. God: do not get between a third trimester woman and what she has decided she wants. That's all I'm saying.

"those plaintiff words haunt my vivid, pregnant-lady dreams each night"

Unless your 2-year-old has secured legal representation and is intent on suing the bearnapper (or you?), I think maybe you meant to write "plaintive" there?

-grammar geek

I can totally relate. I was just like that with both kids. I wanted to do stuff like remodel every closet in our house. I thought nothing of telling the customer service jockey at Best Buy to break their return policy (it worked, they took whatever crap back). I had bigger fish to fry and I needed to get stuff done.

I felt better during my second trimester than I did before I got pregnant! What slowed me down (only physically) toward the end was the dreaded softening of connective tissue. that's what makes pregnant women shuffle.

I would love to know how you make your writing happen after the this baby comes. Please write about your experience of juggling taking care of your family and keeping your career going. I think you are a very good writer, I am curious as to how you are going to make it work, and I'm sure I will enjoy reading it.

All the best to you, your family and the new baby.

In my third trimester, I tackled photo albums. Reams and reams of them. Every photo I could get my hands on was labled, archived, numbered, mounted, and put in a three ring binder. I am not kidding. Stacks. Boxes. Small truckloads.

Of course I haven't touched them since, and now that the kids are fast approaching middle school the stack is getting pretty big. But man was I efficient back in those third trimesters.

Thanks!

PM Rodríguez Zapatero must have known of the superpowers of pregnant women when he appointed the very pregnant Carme Chacón as minister of Defence.

Seems like there'd be a pretty high turnover rate, however.

As someone fortunate enough to have become a mother after years of hardship, I have to say that this flip, glib super-hero-ization of pregnancy is so off-putting.

My wife is pregnant too, but completely sane.

Besides the unreasoned, impulsive and authoritarian approach hasn't really worked so well for the US, lately.

Women have been getting and surviving pregenant and doing everything non-pregnant men and women do since the dawn of humanity. I would love to stop seeing them idealized as some kind of superhuman, especially as most of the idealizing is undertaken by, guess who? Pregnant women.

So true!... gosh, you brought some funny memories back.

The third trimester of pregnancy rendered me certifiable. Pregnant, I tackled huge projects in the yard with utter abandon, working on them at whatever hour felt appropriate. I remember an elderly neighbor standing at the fence at 6 am, clucking that it just "wasn't natural" and phoning my husband to suggest a "nice yard man."

I remember pursuing a marauding raccoon down the front drive in my bathrobe, which didn't begin to meet over my belly, brandishing a broom and screaming. The raccoon had made the mistake of rattling a doorknob on an outside door and convincing me that the Boogie Man had come to get me and/or Offspring #1. I phoned the cops, but then decided to deal with matters myself. (They didn't come quickly enough.) When I saw it was a RACCOON, I went nuts. Memphis's Finest wanted to take me to the hospital, but fortunately my husband came home just then and they released me to his custody.

It didn't occur to me until just now that I don't know for sure which hospital they meant. Hmmm.

Good luck to you AND your family, Heather.

I can fix this. Come with me down to the shooting range and we'll empty a couple boxes of ammo. And Honey, A SHOTGUN uses shells. A RIFLE uses bullets. There is a difference and once we work our way through a hundred paper targets or so, everything will feel much better and you may glow in the "mission accomplished" feeling that enlightened former vice presidents loved so much. Remember this feeling in a few months after you get the government all lined up.

The Baseboards needed constant polishing. What a fun read and a trip down memory lane. Thanks!

Barney Frank said that "conservatives believe life begins at conception and ends at birth". Hmm... Maybe there's a little something to that?

Buckshot goes in shotguns, not rifles.

And shotguns make bigger holes anyway.

We closed on a new house less than a month before my due date and were completely moved in by the time I gave birth.

The flip side of the 3rd trimester burst of energy is that you completely fall to pieces once the little bundle o'joy finally hits the sheets (especially if you're nursing the little dear round the clock). There's a reason why sleep deprivation is used as torture.

I guess I missed out on something really special. I found pregnancy to be, at best, mildly inconvenient. Not unpleasant, but not the extraordinary time that I hear other women describe (though my hair and skin looked nice those 9 months). And, until it was me who was walking around looking as though I had swallowed a globe, I didn't appreciate the kind of weird discrimination that pregnant women experience.

The first words that came out of my mouth after giving birth were, "I'm not pregnant anymore!!!!!" Fortunately, having a baby HAS been everything I hoped for, and more. I just wish I didn't have to go through it all again to have another! Maybe next time I'll turn into a magical pregnant superhero. I won't cross my fingers, though.