Marisa, whatever her faults, is at least more self-aware than somebody who would take the time to respond to an online essay just to let the writer know how shallow she is compared to your groovy selves.

I'd think you deep, enlightened souls would have some followers in more immediate need of your time and judgment.

You people are unhappy. Take a walk. Longer the better.

So tomorrow Paul or Marisa goes out the door and a piano falls on one of them. Over. This way, at least, right now they're doing exactly what they should be doing -- according to their own choices. Marisa came through. She triumped over her own sad privilige and Paul's heroic ordinariness, and there they are. I'm happy for them.

The following words, dug up by me from my last wedding ceremony and used liberally by me (with permission flagrantly granted) have been haunting me (in beautiful ways) the past few days, so I'm going to quote myself quoting Hakim Bey on a Salon post for the second time in 24 hours, this time because it is what a certain minister asked me if he could please insert into that last wedding ceremony (which endures, even though the marriage does not):

"What I am begging you to do here is not to put faith in the impossible, but have the courage to face that terrible possibility that our lives really are in our own hands, and to act accordingly: to not settle for every misery fate and humanity have heaped upon us, but to push back, to see which ones can be shaken off. Nothing could be more tragic, and more ridiculous, than to live out a whole life in reach of heaven without ever stretching out your arms."

-Hakim Bey, "Utopia"

No one can take away that day. It is officially immortal.

Marisa and Paul have pulled it off. All we have is now, today, this moment, and they are in it. Closer to heaven than any of the cynics, and if, after three divorces, I am not a cynic on this subject, I surely can't get behind anyone who is.

Of course I'm totally nuts.

Wow, the number of people complaining about how immature and self-absorbed the author is... I'm pretty sure if they had the guts to write about themselves they would be accused of the same thing. Damn, we're all immature and self-absorbed at least part of the time. And if you don't think you are, that just means you are all the more. I thought it was a great article. I also had to skip to the end though because reading it made me anxious.

Not even going to read any more comments. Just wanted to let you all know you're personally responsible for the current dip in my faith in humanity. Salon readers suck so much.

Okay, hands up, everyone here who has never behaved badly and then learned a lesson from it. Oh, you? And you and you and you and you? Geez... I must somehow have stumbled into the alternative world full of people who were born perfect. I'd better get the hell out of here.

bigguns, what s silly question: what's pushing my protection of younger female writers, who get beaten up in letters threads like this?

Love and kindness, of course.

I won't even go into your last post, which actually had a couple of good points in it. Of course we should all talk more, about painful issues like money and family, before we mate or procreate -- but if we don't, love is the answer.

Don't despair. Ms. Belger is being ladled a lot of love now. The scales are tipping in her favor.

My concern with your playing the part of selective protector is the possibility that you might think your young female writers are in greater need of protection. That doesn't strike me as silly.

I do like that you believe in love and that you manifest it. I hope you're loved in return.

While I'm glad you appear to still be in love with your husband, I think should things fall apart in the future, you've learned an important lesson. Love isn't enough. You can be attracted to a person, even love them, but if you have incompatible life goals, it's not going to work. Attitudes about money are part of that.

Why can't people figure this out before they get married. You need to discuss money. If either of you are going in with credit card debts (as opposed more reasonable debts for which you've gotten something of value in return, like a mortgage, student loans, or a car loan), then you're probably going to fight about money, and money is the number one reason for marriage failure.

This might sound like I'm focusing too much on cash, but money is what makes all your other hopes and dreams possible, so it's important, probably more important than any other factor in the longevity of your relationship.

Don't let the nastiness and pettiness of others ruin your day. I bet plenty of people (who didn't write a letter) read Marisa's story and got a good feeling from reading about someone who made her life better by seeing something she could change about the way she handled the situation she found herself in.

The people who are cynical and bitter were that way when they woke up this morning, and probably will be when they wake up tomorrow morning too, no matter what you or I do. That is their problem, so let them keep it and deal with it if they choose. If they are ready to make a change, they just might find a little inspiration reading about someone else who did, even if her life story is different from theirs.

life is too short to have somebody torturing you for being less than perfect.

seems when some bad thing happens to the woman she guilt trips her guy into sticking around.

But when the situation is turned around, she bails and quickly. nearly ALWAYS.

fuck that shit.