Bigguns, I hadn't realized your change of heart with respect to Ms Belger--I see Anonymous_Too has once again worked her magic :-)

Anonymous_Too said: it's not the story of a bad woman mistreating a good man, it's a story about two people figuring out how to balance dream and reality.

I couldn't agree more. I just like the fact that in the end something did happen, so this particular obstacle did not destroy them.

One comment, though, on the internet.

Anonymous_Too said: I'd take it a step farther and say that we've created and participated in an arena in which basic human decency has been broken down to a degree that is hard to even confront, much less repair. Because the internet is so anonymous and written accounts so narrow, we don't think of each other as human. We think of each other as embodiments of principles or traits that we ourselves despise.

Bigguns said: think you're right about the Internet unraveling decency. It allows us to be at our worst, asserting things we'd never say in person, and pretending to intimacy. I've seen so many threads where regular posters pretend that other posters are their friends and sites like Facebook even apply to word, "friend," to strangers.

I know you'll accuse me of being the little singing bird here, the Polyanna guy who thinks it's all rosy and nice, but I can't avoid mentioning that there is a good side to this. It may very well be that the intimacy here is pretend (how could it be any different? we don't even know each other's names...), and that we pretend omniscience in our Juvenal-like reactions to the mores of others--oh, how terribly wrong Ms Belger was! Or how wonderfully right--take you pick.

But this doesn't simply make ugly animals of all of us.

I have often enjoyed posts by the two of you, Anonymous_Too and Bigguns. You've often mentioned things I hadn't thought of, and given perspectives I couldn't possibly have. It doesn't matter to me that I don't know who you really are, what you look like, and the kinds of things you actually say in real life. It doesn't matter to me if half of the things you've said about yourselves are, well, edited for content, or prettified, or uglified, or filtered through many prisms, or whatever. Ultimately, you have said things I enjoyed reading, things that made me think about issues I hadn't thought before. I have learned things from the two of you. I can't say that about many people I know in real life.

Of course the medium allows people to be assholes--just look at MMM's smug ways. But frankly, that just makes it easier for me to know who I want to read and who I don't. It tends to be obvious already in the first sentence.

Of course we oversimplify ourselves here. Nobody is as good, or as bad, or as strong, or as weak, as s/he seems to be in a letter thread. I'm sure that, if the usual salon letter writers ever met each other in the real world -- in a big salon letter writers convention, let's say --, they'd be (often unpleasantly) surprised with each other.

But frankly, we tend to oversimplify the people we know in real life too--and reduce them to sets of simple oppositions (loser/winner, smart/stupid, empathic/indifferent, etc.). The medium here makes it much easier, of course, but it is not a new phenomenon.

All in all, I'm happy. I didn't expect to find 'full humanness' here--how could I? In anonymous letters which, for all I know, could be telling lies without any way for me to know. I'm surprised I found so much as I think I did, actually. And I go on, wondering what it is that posters like the two of you will say about the next salon article.

"I don't know who you really are, what you look like, and the kinds of things you actually say in real life."

Just between you and me, I'm your dog. Yep, you never got my barks, so I learned how to write. Now that I've got your attention, I would like rare filet mignon for din-din tonight...and every night. And I'd like to eat at the table.

Asehpe also wrote, "It doesn't matter to me if half of the things you've said about yourselves are, well, edited for content, or prettified, or uglified, or filtered through many prisms, or whatever."

You are wise. I am guilty of all of the above. Say, I've actually met a few folks through the Internet and they all found me less serious and sweeter than they'd guessed from the Internet.

Asehpe also wrote, "Ultimately, you have said things I enjoyed reading, things that made me think about issues I hadn't thought before. I have learned things from the two of you. I can't say that about many people I know in real life."

You're so kind. Thank you.

Asehpe also wrote, "I'm sure that, if the usual salon letter writers ever met each other in the real world -- in a big salon letter writers convention, let's say --, they'd be (often unpleasantly) surprised with each other."

I've wondered about this too and I've guessed that some of the harsh, bombastic posters would be small or soft: human creampuffs.

Finally, Asehpe wrote, "But frankly, we tend to oversimplify the people we know in real life too--and reduce them to sets of simple oppositions (loser/winner, smart/stupid, empathic/indifferent, etc.). The medium here makes it much easier, of course, but it is not a new phenomenon."

@ AJCalhoun: Thanks, bro!

"At least we can all agree on this...."

We can't all agree on anything! That's why I laughed at those silly shirts worn by people 9-11 that asserted, "United We Stand." There is no united. The best we can hope for is "Divided We Stand."

Most things going on in the real world are scary and anxiety-producing. I'd much rather read an intimate piece about someone's family, no matter how shallow, than have to pay attention to the real world.