and publishing on a public website, I wonder how her husband feels about knowing that he was almost dumped because the size of his bank account.

You are the reason I read Salon letters! Every so often, someone will just come in and lay it all out on the table, in perfectly understandable and understandably passionate language.

Thanks so much for posting, you made my Sunday (this part of it so far, there's still a ways to go!)

Untill pairing and mating is cut off from its financial consideration, the arrangement of marriage is very similar to the arrangement of prostitution- no matter how old and ingrained you think you are.

Leave her, NOW, Paul, before you get dumped again- on HER materialistic terms!

Whenever wealth is discussed, the consideration of jealousy should be requisite.

I agree.

Whether we admit it or not, the gap between rich and poor is widening, and the number of people on the poor side is increasing. What I find most interesting about this is that although people will gleefully attack the rich, as they do here, they fight any attempt to close that gap, whether it's by changes in the tax code or changes in corporate wage policy. It's almost as if we want that gap to exist, in the hopes that if/when they themselves someday jump it, they won't have to live with the leveling efforts.

It's that if/when that's the kicker. I'm not sure under what circumstances most people think they're going to jump that gap, especially not at its current dimensions. Even if they pay no taxes at all, they're not going to clear it. I also find it fascinating that people believe that poverty ennobles, but support treating white collar thieves more leniently than blue collar. This is eyebrow-raising to me, especially considering the sums of money involved and the scope of the damage with white collar theft. It's less dramatic, but more harmful.

I can tell you from experience that poverty doesn't ennoble. It just adds to the pressure on you to be noble, as you have little else going for you. It's something I've recently become sick of, by the way, given who is benefiting from the latest round of bailouts and who has to pony up for them.

But for the most part, while I'd like a bit more money to work with and make efforts to earn it, I don't envy the rich in a way that makes me want to tear them down. Everyone has problems. It's just a different set of problems.

Anyone who's published on the web should expect a beating.

Yup. And it's the rich who have the insulation and armor to sustain that.

Let's face it. If life is already pummeling you, why on earth would you deliberately subject yourself to additional abuse?

You wouldn't, which means that a lot of poor women are going to keep their mouths good and shut. For the most part, we're even less sympathetic subjects than women like Ms Belger. We have mental problems, physical problems and a lifetime of what's commonly called "bad choices", really human frailty without a safety net.

I'd also like to add that as far as Paul Belger is concerned, it's worth the few minutes involved to Google him. He strikes me as the kind of guy who would consider this essay an ego boost. After all, his wife chose him over the life of comfort she imagined marriage would bring her. How cool is that?

I just now wondered if the Internet isn't the ultimate bread and circus act. It allows the rabble, that is, you and me and our anonymous ilk, to call for blood, but it changes little: the president becomes more powerful, the rich become richer, the U.S. keeps attacking countries, and the poor become poorer. The Internet might be that little cap on the top of the pressure cooker that steadily dissipates the steam. We hear our collective roar, but it's a roar bellowed by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

I too have been poor and recently, but as a writer, it is a gift, for conflict is the axis of every story worth telling and poverty engenders conflict. I don't know how rich people can write from their swaddling. Ms. Belger has seemed to manage it, but it seems her focus on privilege mostly pleases other rich folks and agitates the rest of us, the horde.

Dear Editor:

Perhaps and probobly I married a woman incompatible to my personality. Nevertheless, I believe that I could be, and that my wife could be, happier in our marriage if we had a higher income and if the burden of earning that income was shared more equitably.

As the sole bread-winner in my relationship, which includes her son as well, the bearing of that burden makes me extremely unhappy and is a sort of constant dissatisfication. The expenses of maintaining them have made it virtually impossible to save money. The implication of this is a feeling that I am working without being able to enjoy any fruits of my labor other than living in a continuous working present.

I would never say that having money can make one happy, but it does protect one from destitution and the anxiety that one might become destitute. Money is, nevertheless, a form of potential. That is to say, with surplus income and savings, one can look forward to some benefit from one's work in the future, besides more of the same daily working grind.

Sincerely yours,

Arthur C. Hurwitz

It's great to hear that Mrs. Belger arose from her hardships and went on with the marriage despite all the pains and sufferings. Life can be hard, and marriage certainly can be hard, but often times a tough time is a phase before something beautiful. A rainbow often appears after a storm, right? I know that sounds cheesy but it often is true. So many people expect everything to be perfect. A perfect wedding, a perfect party, perfect children, a perfect relationship, etc.. But things never turn out perfect. There are always hardships and struggles to overcome.

She made the right choice by deciding to stick with her husband. I am proud of her, because many people in America would not have done what she did. She may have been a bit harsh earlier in the first few months of her marriage, but marriage is a stressful time and any woman who has spent a lot of time and energy on a wedding only to get into a financial crisis is going to go nuts. I am glad she made it through.