I worked my way through grad school.

You know, it's kind of fun in the whole big global picture, when, how shall I put it - you see a blatant example of how the experience of upper middle class women is taken to be the experience (feelings, perceptions) of all women...

Is anyone actually saying that this should be taken that way? I don't really get where that comes from.

Or maybe it's you who decides whose perceptions/feelings are worthy of writing or being read about?

I guess that's it. The rest of us will shut up now and wait until you validate our right to write. Others in the 'big global picture' know exactly how that feels and guess what? They don't like it any more than upper middle class women do.

My job is well-paid, but soul crushingly miserable and hardly secure, and supporting someone else in a very expensive city.

Obviously you are a lawyer, probably a prosecutor.

I sympathize with what you're going through. Money problems are simply hell on relationships, exactly what the article was about. And it's an endemic problem, not just affecting upper middle class spoiled twits, as some characterize the writer, but working class and poor people every day of their lives.

That's why it infuriates me when people write 'oh, shut up! You think you're got it bad? At least you're not in Gaza, you don't hear THEM whining about not their men not making enough money, do you?'

But anyone who's actually lived a little knows that as soon as the bombs stop falling that's just what actual human beings do.

The other funny thing is these same people will make lofty pronouncements about the 'current economic dire straits' and the 'disenfranchised', but show little empathy for the experience of someone on their own level actually looking fear of scarcity in the face -- the kind of Made In America fear that's drummed into all of our heads 24 hours a day -- and admitting it.

I hope things get better for you and your husband.

The everybody-gets-their-act-together ending came just in time, as did the attitude adjustment. All in all, a sweet little fable.

Why it's the lead story,I'm not sure.

You beat me to it, but I'm posting it anyway.

“you see a blatant example of how the experience of upper middle class women is taken to be the experience (feelings, perceptions) of all women..”

I totally agree with this. The media does it all the time. I remember being perplexed by the “more and more women are staying home with their children” Who are these women? I sure as hell don’t know any. I don’t know anyone who can afford that. It was stupid, but I’m equally disturbed by the fact that so many letter writers here take the experience of one upper middle class woman who admits she expected to marry someone able to support her and claiming she’s the norm for women. Like a lot of others, I feel the judgment being passed on Ms. Belger is way harsher than it should be. It comes across as jealousy more than anything else. I’m not going to go back and re- read the whole article but I don’t remember her claiming anywhere that she speaks for all women. She is speaking for herself and claims to the contrary just seem like projection.

I don’t know many people with an upper middle class background. My friends, men and women are all almost-comfortably middle class and they all work for a living. I know the other kind of woman exists. The woman that so many Salon letter writers claim is the norm, I know they exist. I met one. One. She’s a gold digger who married a man for his money. She divorced him after two years and continues to live comfortably off his income. The thing is, she was raised in an upper middle to upper class household and she will do anything to maintain that lifestyle. Well…anything but get a job. The women I know are not envious of her, they find her type disgusting. Me and my girlfriends are hard working women married to hard working men. Personally, I think that’s the norm.

And I’m sorry, but the whole “Think of the women in Gaza” brings to mind the “Eat your vegetables, people are starving in China” I am fully capable of realizing that no matter how bad my life is, someone has it worse than me. When I was married to my first husband, I was miserable and desperate for an escape. Was I as bad off as the women in Gaza? Oh hell no. Knowing that didn’t make me happier or willing to stay married to someone who refused to get a job. I still left. And I still don’t eat my vegetables.

Give (Marisa) a break! She's realized her mistakes

Shallow, snobby, pretentious and righteous all in the same package. My suggestion, don't eat with a person until you are sure they are the one (make sure they are rich next time)

Spoiled "artistic" rich girl meets poor boy and grows up. Yawn.

Next exerpted story like this I'll make sure I read the comments first. More entertaining & thought-provoking. Less of a waste of time.

The first paragraph is particularly barf-worthy. Really, how many times did she eat "salads with edible flowers" or roll on "the fluffy carpet?" High school creative writing quality at best. Any of my potential empathy for this woman was immediately destroyed when I realized she was trying to sell a book of this shite. I'm sure I could cite more triteness but then I would have to read this again. No thanks.

that you're perfect. Hope you kill a lot of Jews someday.

Oh wait -- your choice of handle is just 'humor'.

(signature is a link) . . .

In regard to certain criticisms about the author not being sufficiently "adult" or "introspective", I wonder if anyone truly is adult or introspective enough outside of human fantasies. Even the god so many millions of people around the world worship is depicted as an arrogant, spiteful, self-absorbed creep in the bible. Of course, because he was created in the image of man. Even Jesus Christ lost his temper over trivial things, like a fig tree not bearing fruit out of season, causing him to throw a temper tantrum and kill it. But if perfection is denied mortals and imaginary deities alike, at least most of us have the capactity for introspective growth, to achieve better understanding of ourselfs and others and thus become more tolerant of our frailties. Which is what Ms. Belger's essay demonstrated.