Totally agree - in my marriage we share everything 50-50 - income, childcare, chores, and have achieved a balance completely missing from some of our friends' relationships where the wife stays home and the husband brings in the paycheck (for some reason, the marriages where the wife brings in the paycheck seem much happier - the women I know cut their husbands a lot of slack, especially if they are taking care of kids!) but it absolutely makes a difference in the power balance. Money is power.

Why not end your essay with, "And we'll live happily ever after," if you're going to tell fairy tales? Hard times keep coming. Wait until age and cynicism and routine and disease chip away at the two of you.

And of course money matters. It's the number one reason that people fight and divorce.

.....Marisa, self-absorbed wreck that she may be, was at least honest enough to say what they really want, and what marriage is really about--your money. Why any man would ever get married after reading this is beyond me.

I loved it. Marisa grew up, and so did her mate. Life is hard, marriage is harder; how can people criticize this story, seemingly based on the first half?

Thank you so much for the story - I've had struggles in my marriage, in part over money but more over career, that were quite difficult to resolve. Most marriages seem to entail discovering new and unexpected aspects of your partner's personality and character, and having to accept and learning to love these qualities that only emerge after being close to someone for an extended period of time. I'm glad to hear that your marriage is stronger now having weathered a period of hardship. Thanks for showing the importance of patience, restraint, and mutual forgiveness.

I'm quite startled by the tone of so many of the preceding letters - such an outpouring of schadenfreude that would be venomous were it not so pathetic!

My primary criticism is in response to the ending: "...happily married for good."

She's too young to assert any such thing. Heck, if she were 45, she'd be too young too assert the same thing. It's nice that she's hopeful, but it's prudent to qualify and especially in a public form like this.

I'm surprised, at your age, Ms. Walsh, that you overlook her unearned optimism.

I tried to hold out, but finally had to take a painkiller for my kidney infection so I will admit I might be a little loopy, but I don't understand all the vultures saying things like, "wait until illness, death, routine, cynicism," blah, blah happens.

Aren't those types of events or conditions going to happen to everyone, single or married, to a certain extent? Except the cynicism obviously sets in earlier if you're single, at least on the Salon boards. Too bad about that. That's an aspect of being single I don't recall and still don't see in my single friends, so I guess I have to ask, who the hell ARE you people?

I was happy to see the author and her husband jump over one of the many hurdles of life and land on their feet. Hope the jumps will be easier the next time.

And I saw that she got a job and stayed with him. So no, she's not as completely vapid as many of the first person female voices Salon seems to love to publish for the shock and dismay of all. But I still think that there is a difference between self-involvement and introspection. I don't feel that the narrator in this story grew as a person through her trials. That would entail real introspection. Rather, she tells us a lot about what she thinks, feels, and wants, but there seems to be no deeper examination, ie, "are my priorities as they should be?"

As a feminist, I want to know why she seems to think without hesitation that her husband exists primarily as a "support" for her freelance writing. I mean, for crying out loud. Only on Salon.com do people seriously exist who think that it's reasonable to expect that one can live in an overpriced Manhattan apartment on the earnings of a freelance writer, for one thing. And for another, this guy was working his low wage job perfectly content until Marisa wandered along and now suddenly he's supposed to kick it up a notch and have "ambitions"? Why? To support her oh-so-important writing? What, exactly, does she write about other than herself and how she would have left him over money?

In fact, this essay suggests exactly the opposite of what you claim. Instead of showing that marriage is about a man's money, the conclusion reached by the author is that if money is so important to her, she ought to go out and make it herself. I think this is a conclusion that everyone can celebrate.

I know that this letters thread is probably going to be swamped with men who think that women are all about the cash. I won't lie--just as there is the theme out there in the culture that the only worthy female mate is young, slim, and beautiful, there is the idea that the only man worth being with is rich. This article is actually in opposition to this notion. I have to say that I was brought up by a mother who wanted me to marry a doctor or at least a guy who made well into the 6 figures, and I didn't-having reached the same conclusion as Ms. Belger, that if I wanted money, I should earn it, rather than marry someone else's.

"I won't lie--just as there is the theme out there in the culture that the only worthy female mate is young, slim, and beautiful, there is the idea that the only man worth being with is rich."

Yes, the theme is out there, but we all know it's bullshit. Those that hold to it KNOW how shallow they're being, even if they try to cover it up by being a deliberate boor.

But my parents raised their kids differently, teaching us to be realistic and self-reliant, so I've never had to fight to shut those voices out.