When we are young, beautiful and in love money does not matter. As we become older into our retirement years it matters a lot. In this day and age being flexible in one's abilities to make a buck are everything. Not being forced to live in government housing in elder years is a real plus, too. I think about this when dating. Sad, but true.

I enjoyed reading this article! I am married and also work as a couple's therapist! Ms. Belger shared how she found her independence and resiliency after a voice in her head challenged her to look at her what she could do to help her marriage. When working with couples, I often hope and pray for aha-like moments Ms. Belger has shared. It can be hard to look at ourselves but really worthwhile! Thank you for a wonderful article. I will share it with my couples and my friends and family!

Money kills more love than it generates. I've lived with the same woman for 35 years and we think 50/50 relationships don't work very well. She worked a job in town to bankroll us while I built our passive solar house 30 years ago. Then I worked a job in town to bankroll us while she started our computer business 25 years ago. We have never paid a penny in interest except for our mortgage, which we paid off early, and we never have money arguments.

We have a 60/40 relationship: Sometimes you get the 60 and sometimes you get the 40. We love each other enough to sacrifice and get enjoyment out of pleasing each other so the delicately hard to maintain 50/50 balance is never required. We share the fun and work but generously give and happily do for each other and it has worked well through good times, serious illnesses, injuries and many deaths of friends and family.

I am a lucky boy but I earned some of it too. She feels the same way and we would both gladly live together another 35 years. This should be unlikely since we are both stubborn, 1st born, "A" personalities but we learned to listen, trust and be honest so it has been relatively easy. I think these are the keys, along with lots of experience with other partners when we were young. We also never "accidentally" had kids, ran up credit cards, got DUI's or fucked strangers (we had plenty of the last in college.)

It all comes with growing up and not being in competition with your main ally in life but learning to help each other to get what we each want out of life and then share it. The author sounds like she's on her way to similar success and I wish her and her husband the best.

(Lucky) Hermit

It appears that Marisa’s dilemma is yet another sad example of Reagan spawn. Whether a believer or not, his removal of empathy and humanity from the American landscape influenced generations. I hope her epiphany was genuine and a harbinger of a new world view. Let’s all make sure that the “crazy think” of that time is put back in the box for at least another 100 years.

"I wish I would have never met him and I double wish I never would have went out with him."

You and your story fulfill most of the qualifications Salon is looking for in its culture writers.

Barely literate? Check.

Thinks men are pack mules? Check.

Looking above all for public validation on these points? Double check.

Goes to lots of writer's parties in Manhattan? Oops. I'm afraid that's a dealbreaker right there. You might never get your big break as a freelance writer for this august webzine.

I am a 22 year old college senior, so I am not married. My parents grew up in the 50s and 60s and were high school sweethearts. When they married at 20, they thought they had the world ahead of them, but like Paul, my Dad had terrible, undiagnosed ADD and a host of other issues.

My parents' marriage is far from perfect-there's been plenty of screaming, bouts with alcoholism, etc. But because the foundation was love, here we are 36 years and 4 children later. 75% of my friends parents are divorced and have everything. I didn't have much (though my parents rarely said no to what was reasonable), but I had an awesome, yet dysfunctional family that was fiercely loyal to each other in good times and bad.

It sadddens me and my parents that divorce has been so normal. My mom says that was one of the downsides of the 60s- a "all about me and my wants and needs" culture that has wrought some unintended consequences on kids of all ages. Maybe thats why people my age are on all kinds of psychiatric medications for depression, and incapable of having a meaningful relationship that starts with a date rather than a drunken hook-up at a party. If you don't have love, which obligates people and sometimes makes things messy, you have nothing to lose, but the one thing you do have is one sad existence full of shit that won't matter when you're dead.

Let's learn from this essay. Let's change our perspective on life and what matters.

Who or what is giving us these "false" options or narrow financially driven desires and "choices"? What happened to beautiful hikes to clear the head and fill it with the right type of thoughts. Head toward nature when all seems lost and confused because she has never made a mistake. We inflict all this mind rot and physical pollution on our world and lives but Mother Nature is still willing to work with us. Perfection exists in nature. Look to her for answers. They are free if you can read them. It's a language that needs to be revived. Ask any Indian.

Yeah, I'm coming across as a hardass in this thread and that's partly because I'm embodying cynicism, whereas you, Ms. Walsh, Ms. Belger, and others are embodying hope and love. It's more impressive to me that Ms. Walsh embodies hope and love than when Ms. Belger does the same, because the hammer of time has likely taken a few more whacks at Ms. Walsh than Ms. Belger, however wealth, in some ways, can stand between a person and that hammer. Wealth seduces one into believing that the world is otherwise, other than it is for many.

A wise and loving friend once noted, "It's not that rich people lack compassion; they lack comprehension."

Frankly, I liked Ms. Belger's story, but that's because I like fairy tales, I like the payoff, after all that dragon's fire, of happily ever after. And hers is a saleable story: Ms. Belger has already sold it at least two times. I just wish she had closed with the caveat that the two of them were cuddling on the couch...for now, at least. "For now" isn't pathetic. It forces presence and gratitude for the moment and how many people can even manage that?