So, should you not have gone to the private high school? Or is it OK that you went, but now others should not have the opportunity to make that decision?

Is there any part of you, your thinking, your sensibility, your knowledge or security or relational skills or whatever that you attribute to your private school experience? Is who you are in any way a result of those years in your life?

If yes (and for me, it's a yes), then why should others not have the chance just because you have since decided it's a privilege? Also if yes, then understand that your opinion on this issue right now is shaped by that experience.

I'm just probing, not being hostile. I really get that these are dicey issues. I can't stand the cliquishness of some private schools, and the mentality of some of the parents. It's skin-crawling to me. In my experience as a parent, the public schools as a rule are more welcoming to parents physically being in the building, etc., but again these are just anecdotal, as are all our observations on this thread. People bring their own experiences and biases to the table and want validation for their choices. It's human nature I think. I'm all over the place on schooling b/c we have tried so many of the options--largely successfully I might add. My kids are great--healthy, happy, challenged, etc. We took the approach of one year at a time, one kid at a time. No "one-size-fits-all" around here. It seemed to work. (so far, knock on wood).

Living in Westchester County, New York, I have felt tremendous pressure to send my kid to private school or watch him end up with no future prospects...none! But as a product of public school myself, I felt a greater pressure to stick it out, to prove that excellent public school educations could be had, even if as a parent I would have to work a little harder to make sure that happened.

My son is now 17, about to enter his senior year of public high school. Here's what I can tell you: I had to work WAY harder to be sure he got the education he deserved than I would have if I'd swiped my Visa instead. And he had to work his butt off too, being an aggressive, vigilant advocate for his own education. But guess what? It was a priceless effort for both of us.

Sure, I'd like to strangle the superintendent of our school district for being an ass-covering idiot who'd rather keep bailing water out of the leaky boat by the thimbleful than fix the damn boat. Yes, my son shouldn't have had to collect names on a petition so he could take Latin (the course was dropped anyway) or slog through junior year English with a teacher who can't spell. And don't get me started on the ATROCIOUS lack of leadership evidenced by the majority of half naked students who speak to each other like convicts and porn stars. A day does not go by that I don't think, "Where are the grownups? Whatever happened to detention?"

Still. Being a public school warrior has given my son a stake in his future that he wouldn't have had if he'd gone the Cadillac route. He takes nothing for granted and he knows how to negotiate, barter, finagle and finesse to get where he wants to go....great street skills I reckon they don't teach in those fancy private schools he didn't attend. And even though I have felt like Sisyphus on many more than half of the 4745 days my son will have spent in this public school system, I'd do it all again. Let's just call it a character-building experience for him AND for me....on an epic scale.

The boom in charter schools in urban areas will prove that public education can be rehabilitated and reinvented. And if the market system could somehow similarly bear down on suburban and rural schools, we could be talking about a whole new ballgame in public education. Now THAT would be something.

Tell her that she can find her child at Salon writing for Joan Walsh.

Sighhh...

See? It's this. PLENTY of public schools have good class sizes and student-teacher ratios.

The notion that the public schools are a wasteland across the board is what keeps many parents from even looking at the school on their block.

I spent many miserable years in a public suburban high school, and switched to a private school for the arts halfway through sophomore year. It was a much better experience. The kids were more interesting, creative, experimental, and fun. As adults, the kids from both schools are doing well... the end result was the same. But what a difference in the journey!

I taught a few years, and I'm not convinced that schools are a good idea. Private schools, if you find one compatible with your child (there are so many types, I wouldn't break them down into "good" or "bad", it's about fit not random criteria) are infinitely better, but in general, I'm not sure what is to be gained by forcing study subjects that they don't care about or have aptitude for, when their time would be better spent pursuing something they love to do. I agree basic arithmetic and being able to read and write is important, but beyond that, why not let students study what they are good at and enjoy?

The problem with public schools, and with many private schools, is the cookie-cutter methods they use for teaching. Students need more individual help than one can give them... hence the need for after school tutors. (Not just a suburban thing, I've driven through the ghetto and seen plenty of 'em). Teachers can't give students the individual help they need.

I really want to home school my kids. For most of history, those who could did exactly that, and produced brilliant minds. I think schools should be around for those who can't homeschool, but as a secondary choice.