We spend plentry on our urban schools, but most of the parents who send their kids to them are poor people who don't always value education and whose children grow up in chaotic environments, leading to behavior problems. If public schools could kick out problem children like private schools can, the rest of the kids could learn, and the schools would improve.

This is so encouraging after reading the horrible Soup Kitchen letters. Those kept me awake last night.

It IS all about the parents. My daughter's "feeder preschool" is ME. I have taught for ten years and it's clear as day: the home environment is everything. I also think it's funny when my peers buy homes and consider the public schools in the equation. I live in a poor, "brown" city and teach in a white blue-collar suburb. The only difference between the high school in my poor city and the rich white one in the next town is that the rich kids are just doing more expensive drugs. Seriously. The teachers are hired from the same pool of applicants; from town to town, the pay only varies a few thousand bucks. Actually, if someone is going to apply to a "bad" school, they're likely more motivated and idealistic than someone who wants to play it "safe."

Private school can be a racket (I can't speak for all of them). I knew a guy who taught English in the oldest private school in DC. I asked him if he was certified in English, as I was in college at the time working towards mine. He said no, and his degree was in history. People pay extra for this "expertise!" In public schools, we have a thousand hoops to jump and it gets harder every year. I know there are crap teachers out there, just as there are crap doctors, lawyers and parents. We teachers are not perfect, but 99% of us are passionate about what we do. I love my job, and I'm not alone.

I agree that people who choose private school do so out of fear. All of those Michele Pfeiffer-type movies about the scary high schools have done us a disservice in making people think that's what public schools are like. It's a shame they don't get more credit.

I apologize if this post is all over the place because I am juggling a toddler. I just loved this article.

I forgot to add that I taught at a Los Angeles public middle school (in Northridge) for two years and it was abject hell. The main reason? Class sizes of FORTY. You try teaching forty 8th graders. The other reason? Constant fear of lawsuits.

I'm in MA now where they spend more on their kids (hello, Taxachusetts), and everyone is happier.

I attended public schools all my life except for high school, where I attended a boarding private school. Both experiences were good for me. The danger I see with private school is that kids will grow up thinking that those surroundings are representative of the world. They will rarely be exposed to kids of different ethnicity, religious beliefs, etc. because parents generally have this fear of mixing their kids with different socio-economic backgrounds for fear that (gasp) they might become friends and will somehow be lowered. I live in the south and am continually disgusted with the way so many people I know only send their kids to Christian schools. What sort of way is this to raise kids? It's important for them to know that people everywhere are different and come from different circumstances. And the only way to do that is to expose them to it and talk about it. It wasn't until I was in my 30s when my husband pointed out that he hoped I realized how fortunate I was to go to a private school and an expensive private university, and the truth is that I never thought about it. It never occurred to me that it was a privilege to go to these places. And I can't help but wonder if people like me also just don't get what a blessing it is to have those opportunities--I get it now. The private school brats I often meet now sicken me with their sense of entitlement, superiority and isolation from all that is different. Are those the people we want running the country?

Sandra Tsing Loh is very clever and funny and there's certainly a lot of truth and wisdom in the experience she describes. Every public school system is different, and so is every independent school, as is every parent and every student. As an employee of an urban private school, I thought some readers might benefit from some first-hand insights:

To begin with, most elite private schools these days have substantial endowments, much of which are devoted to financial aid. One of the chief misconceptions we are up against at the private school where I work is that it is simply out of reach financially for all but the wealthy (some of our wealthy parents and alumni are, sadly, comfortable with this perception).

The reality is that the best independent schools are seeking the best, most qualified applicants. Our school has distributed millions of dollars worth of financial aid. We have many students from middle class households who are on partial financial aid, and quite a few who are fully funded. Getting in to an elite prep school isn't necessarily easy, but don't rule it out just because of money.

Secondly: again, I can't speak for every prep school, and I'm sure it's different out there in L.A., but we benefit from a tremendous amount of parental involvement in programs and fund-raising. It's hardly the case that 'everything is taken care of once you write the check.' We couldn't do without the active participation of our parents and alumni, who are tireless in their support of all of our students. One of our administrators is also on the city school board, and is constantly commenting on how he sees parental involvement and volunteering in the day-to-day operations of the school as the major advantage our school has over the public schools, both in the wealthier neighborhoods of our city and in the depressed areas. One might argue that our parents can be more involved because there are many wealthy single-income homes and stay-at-home moms, etc., but most of our families have both parents at work (sometimes in very demanding jobs) and we have a surprising number of single-parent households where the parents still find the time to contribute both to their sons' school lives and to the school in general. It's a matter of their choice to devote their limited leisure time to their children and their school community.

Many see independent schools as cabals of the wealthy, priced out of the range of normal middle-class wage-earners in order to keep out the 'riff-raff,' but, at least in my experience, this is really not the case. Some of our scholarship kids are top students, but many of them are middle-of-the-road. They don't have to be geniuses or star athletes--they just have to be willing to take on the demands of a rigorous academic and extracurricular schedule. It's not at all easy--for anyone--but it really isn't about the price tag.

The big upside of independent school is something that is never going to change in even the best public school systems: class size and student-teacher ratio. The best private schools strive for diversity and are eager to recruit more students from different neighborhoods, regions, and economic backgrounds. What they don't compromise on is a high standard of commitment from students and families.

Parents should never rule out any good option for their children's education. I am a proud product of public schools, but I had the good fortune of growing up in a small suburban city with a great school system. Public school was really the best option. Where I live now, the quality public school options are much more limited, and, knowing what goes on in independent schools firsthand, I see how superb the quality of mentoring and education can be in the best independent schools, for all kinds of students. My school's tuition is over 20K a year, and we have plenty of people who can pay the freight, but we also have boys whose families are on WIC. And believe it or not, they are all treated equally, and 100% of them go on to quality colleges, often on full scholarships.

Do your research--you may find that an independent school is the best fit for your child, and you may also find that it's not as far out of financial reach as you initially thought.