I have big boobs and really ugly legs. So I get a bathing suit which will support my boobs, then I cover it with Coolibar swimwear. They sell swimming shirts (long-sleeves and short sleeves), swim capris, leggings, shorts, skirts, men's swimwear, kids swimwear, etc. It looks like a cross between gymwear and a wetsuit. It's lightweight, it dries quickly and it is not skintight. It has something like 50 SPF. I had a skin cancer removed from my back, so it is the perfect excuse for wearing it.

Kids wear rashguards nowadays, so it's no big deal to cover up. You can choose long sleeves or short sleeves and swim shorts, swim capris or swim pants depending on how much leg you want visible. Just say "Skin cancer. I have to be careful now. Isn't it a great idea so that people like me can go swimming without having to worry about sunscreen all the time?"

Check out coolibar's website. It's a solution for those of us who don't want to let it all hang out.

I just love wearing a hazmat suit to garden...how do the babes in the Smith and Hawken catalog get away with tank tops and shorts? Oh, right. California.

For me, summer is Nature on the attack. And it's winning.

new york is fun and all (i would know, lived there most of my life) but...

the reason no one likes a "quitter" in new york is that they're all bitter when you actually DO work up the balls to leave.

i actually LOVE summers in new york city - granted, i've been a member of the itty bitty titty committee since puberty, and yeah - the stench, oh my god the unholy stench, but...

... i find summer nights in new york unbeatable (unless, compared to, say, a festival in the oregon woods). i just spent two fun and insanity-filled weeks back in my old hometown - part of the reason i had so much fun was that i knew i got to leave again at the end.

I'm surprised no one has mentioned it, but it seems to me that the writer might benefit from an antidepressant and a good therapist.

Jeeeze louise. I think we have an influx of USA Today readers here.

This was hilarious, surprising, really well-written and fresh. I think this writer did another piece for Salon about buying bras for her 'grande' breasts and it was equally as delightful and informative. I even Googled some of the bra sites.

...so flip off you nerdy, unfunny and especially too-serious types. Dr. Phil is on, ya'll, go tune in.

Besides, she's right. I lived in South Florida for 35 years. 35 years of 10-11 months of pure summer, dripping makeup, frizzed and limp hair, soggy armpits, hazy horizons and never enough pools. I discovered through road trips my love for the high desert of the southwest. Cold! High! Dry! Even our Feb. snow in Albuquerque dries up the next morning in the bright (but dry) sun. Our Hispanic and latina/latino culture loves a curvy body. Girl, you bring those girls out here and you'll be the adored Gringa.

There is a vast difference between low altitude and urban humidity and the mountains and cool, dry desert. I will not insultingly suggest obvious solutions like AC. I say U-Haul, baby.

I predict the very talented Rachel will end up as Managing Editor of Harper's or The New Yorker and finally, buy a place in New Mexico where she will never have the weather to complain about again.

Some of you all, though, I dunno. I think like a swarm of nasty bugs, youll swoop down upon the next fresh voice you read here.

Lordy. I had to write twice. I actually lived in Omaha too, on the Air Force Base. Decades ago.

Stockyards, corn husking, and 20 freaking below in winter with wind chills.

That Rachel could have developed her writer's voice...in the midwest of *Nebraska* (Aksarben!) is even more awesome.

Yowsa.

This article was a riot! I only wish it were made into a movie. Like an Woody Allen flick complete with dream sequence (ie. Fellini vignette). As far as what summer is for some of us -- "You Nailed it!" Thanks for articulating the absurdity of this long drawn out overrated season. (Hold on while I spray myself with OFF) And while we can't do much about the hot, humid weather we seem to face with no interruption until autumn. We can certainly laugh at it and all the rituals that go with it.

Yeah, some of this article is amusing. But the overall tone, as many others have pointed out, is that of a person determined not to have any fun. Self absorbed and whiny. But hey, I'm a double-d and a bit on the porky side myself, my insurance company does not cover breast reduction, I have hot flashes, the museum where I work has had no air conditioning and I still have to do four animal programs a day, and to top it off my daughter and granddaughter live on Martha's Vineyard, where it's cool, breezy and fun, and I have to work instead of going to play with them. (They aren't millionaires...my daughter is office manager for a carpet and flooring stoor, and she got in on an affordable housing program) But I still enjoy summer. Green things...trees...forests to walk in and enjoy the stillness. Hawks nesting in the backyard. The cat lying spreadeagled in the sun, smiling his little cat smile. Fresh fruit...local corn! Peaches! Cool bugs to look at! And I'm old enough that I can put on my bathing suit and go to the beach without worrying too much about those extra ten pounds. Heck, Dave Barry advised all us old out-of-shape folks to go ahead and dance! Sure the little lithesome kids will point fingers and snicker. Let 'em. They need a source of amusement, and we need to close off that inner voice that says we aren't thin enough, or pretty enough, or small-titted enough to dare to be seen enjoying ourselves.

As Christmas in Hell has pointed out, life is short, death is long, and if you need to smoke a couple of joints to get a giggle on things, use the money from this essay to score some good weed. Dum vivamus, vivamus!