Beautiful, touching article.

I remember all too well being the one leaving on an aircraft carrier for a deployment leaving a wife and son behind. How do you prepare children for this? I wish I knew. I will say my then wife, now my ex, and I were too young and immature to prepare ourselves, let alone our son for this experience. I want to congratulate the author for her efforts. Hopefully the outcome will be better than it was for us. We're divorced and my son has been a problem, and caused himself many problems over the years.

As to the statement about people in the Navy killing other people, that is a reality the author needs to face. I saw action in Vietnam and Cambodia. Afterward when I needed someone to talk to my ex turned her back and walked away. You made a commitment to him, becoming part of his life and you part of his. He will see and do things no human should do to other humans. Be there for him. It will not be easy, but as his partner you will need to help him. Be gentle, do not force the issue. Seek support for both of you.

As a National Guard Soldier who had to say good-bye to his family so I could deploy for 15 months early in 2006 I was heartbroken everytime I thought about my step son at home. I wrote a few handwritten letters, but not enough. I will likely be mobilized again in 2009, after 22 months of dwell time and will once again have to explain to my son why I won't be there for his Birthday, or Christmas.

Peace be with you and yours. Thank-you for being a voice for those that we have to leave behind.

I can sympathize with the author up to a point. Her husband is away killing people or ready to do so if corrupt commanders tell him. That's bad. But then, why marry such a person? Why have kids together? If we assume (if we dare) that those who enlist are guilty, then their spouses too are guilty by extension. Why condone violence perpetrated by this country by marrying the agents who deliver this violence? I say, get a divorce quickly - you can still remarry (a person doing something GOOD for a living – what a novel concept!), and your kids will be happier, just as you will.

My opinion about the concept of war in general and this conflict in particular asside:

Lapsang/Molotkov/GS: I don't suppose any of you are Americans and also are going through the April routine of paying Income Taxes to the Feds eh? Becuase if you are, you're paying for a war and by your logic responsible and guilty of the crimes you've enabled by paying them. If you are paying them, why are you paying them? Well, that same goverment giving orders to the soldiers there told you too. Guess you don't want to get in trouble or inconvenience yourself with an audit though, much easier to shout down our soldiers(and their family and kids apparently) and blame them for not wanting to get courtmartialed and/or physicaly punished for not following orders. Obviously one situation is life/death and the other isn't, but if you're not willing to deal with such a trifling matter as a tax audit to show your dissent, why should the soldiers risk worse? (If you aren't a tax paying American, then you've just called everyone who is, a murderer or emotionaly abusive to their family/children.)

Lapsang Part 2: Her husband probably doesn't even know these guys, wasn't there when it happened, and so has nothing to do with a horrible war crime that is illegal no matter what. It has nothing to do with orders given, or even the idea of the military. No one acknowledges those acts as justifiable. Guess that means since it is likely some guy once raped and beat his wife in a company you once worked for you are part of that company and list(ed) your place of work there and admit to people your association to this group that you too are some criminal a-hole that should get blamed for those crimes. Your logic stinks and is nothing but illigitimate hate.

To those of you who posted and are in a branch of our military: Thank you for doing this. Without our military our nation wouldn't last very long economically and politically. No one would listen to us anymore, and we couldn't enjoy the rich lives we have. (I appreciate this even though I no longer live in the US.) The military is a violent yet unfortunately necessary tool to live in the world we live in. The tool is in the wrong hands, just as a baseball bat, kitchen knife, and gun can be in the wrong hands. You have promised to protect our nation from all its enemies, foreign and domestic, which is more than I can ever say about myself. I respect you and your comrades' decision. Those who share your profession and commit horrible crimes, may they be punished as the law and conscience requires, but it has nothing to do with you, and definately nothing to do with your families and children.

To Alison Buckholtz:

(and full disclosure)

I wish you great luck in keeping the family sane and together. I'm a military mostly-wife (we're not married) and have thankfully only gone through a short deployment of 4 months. I couldn't imagine it with kids, it was lonely and I was often anxious when I didn't get that email that let me know he was okay and where he was stationed was okay. My best wishes to you and your family, and a huge thanks to your husband for his service.

It saddens me to read all the negative, hate-filled letters that have been posted about this great article. I think they are missing the point. This war and all wars are not "good" things, but this article is how you handle the day in and day out of explaining to a small child why their mom or dad isn't there.

I applaud Ms. Buckholtz. She handled it with grace and strength. I hope all children of deployed parents are so lucky. I wish her and her family peace and safety and a quick reunion.