Letters to the Editor
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Why is it ok to pick and choose?
I find it interesting that both in the original article and subsequent letters, that both the author and responders defended those items/practices that THEY found useful or in good taste while condeming those THEY viewed as over the top. Could it not be true that everyone values things differently, and it isn't necessarily fair to condemn only those things that YOU would't use/support?
My parents often questioned many of the items we got for our daughter which helped immensely (Miracle Blanket IS a miracle!). They used the old adage "in our day we didn't have that, and you didn't have that, and we all turned our fine". I would point out that not all new innovations are "bad", for example, many years ago they didn't have drugs that fight heart disease or cancer, but my parents certainly take advantage of such innovations (cell phone, anyone?). It's not fair to pick and choose which are ok and which aren't based on your own values.
I agree with the author that the marketing industry prays on parents' insecurities and is riding the ever increasing wave of striving for upward mobility, but we are not robots, and we don't have to sign on. We are free to choose our unecessary objects! We refused a Bugaboo gift as I wouldn't be able to comfortably leave it parked somewhere, since I couldn't afford to replace it if it got stolen. Also, it's big! That said, we did purchase 2 fairly high end strollers after test driving a zillion on Boston sidewalks and seeing some of the cheaper versions actually tip over. We are lucky that we were able to afford them, but that was important to us since we walk a lot. Other things were not so important (hand me down crib, clothes, drive an older car, blah blah blah), and that's why I find this article faulty. It's hard to know what motivates purchases, and assuming a Gymboree using, Bugaboo toting, sign language teaching parent is insecure and unengaged is unfair. Gymboree is fun for parents and kids, the Bugaboo drives like a champ, and sign language has helped some kids communicate their needs.
Incidentally, when someone makes a cheap stroller that has wheels sufficient enough for Boston sidewalks, can roll over snow and slush, turns easily without requiring a huge burst of energy, won't tip, and won't fall apart, then sign me up. Graco-we're waiting!
Sure there are plenty of baby products out there that are inexpensive and will do the job at hand, but if you can afford something that makes life a little easier (ball bearings!), why not? The author would be hard pressed to isolate this to the baby industry. Does anyone need a 72 inch TV? A Hummer? A stove, even? I could technically cook over a fireplace if I had to, but I really splurged and got a stove.
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Where is Erma?
I moved back to the US after a few years in Scandinavia just before my daughter was born and the whole cult of children is incredibly bizarre. I keep wondering what happened to the down to earth kind Erma Bombeck sort of mom that has been replaced in this Boston suburb by throngs of competimommies who don't smile or greet you but discuss your stroller in front of you as though you might be deaf.
I actually bought a Bugaboo Frog as the nice pram I had bought before we moved was still in storage/at sea and we were living in a hotel for 2 months until we found a house. To its credit, that bugaboo served as my daughter's bassinet, held her car seat and was a source of liberation on walks around town until we moved into suburbia. I still love that pram and use it several times a day, but recently I pulled out the one I bought before we moved since it's one you can't purchase in the US and I figured I should get some use out of it before she's too big for it. The looks and comments that thing gets astonishes me as I never really considered a pram as a status symbol. There is a baby fashion mag now, too, so I guess I should have seen it coming.
I must also thank the author for mentioning toting the kid around town as normal and healthy as I do that daily and thought that maybe I wasn't being a good mom by not playing with her and shopping in the evening instead. If nothing else, this kid has learned that smiling and waving and saying "Hi!" to anyone around her is terrific fun. I don't know why something has made me feel insecure enough about my mothering skills that I need to hear that I'm doing OK from external sources when I have a happy, healthy child who seems to be coming along at 16 months just fine with kitchen ephemera and books while I cook. She is especially fond of the recycling bin.
I also briefly considered the signing thing until my Finnish husband guffawed and noted that the human race had managed for millennia without baby signing. Over time, I think his scoffing was warranted as babies communicate well enough if you are paying attention and you know them well enough to guess what they want.
And where were you or anyone else with the suggestion of a sleep coach when my baby didn't sleep for more than 30min at a time for the first year and I had been scared away from the Ferber method by one too many crunchy mommies who viewed his method as child abuse? In the end, I bought the book and I was sleeping 5+ hours or more in a few days. :)
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Baby Einstein alternative
Okay, I get that some readers find Baby Einstein to be convenient when they are busy. An effective alternative is a children's CD. They're cheap and they don't use graphics and motion to overstimulate children. They're also extremely interactive and convenient- you can stop the CD at any time you like. Kids love hearing music over and over again. Soon, they learn to sing along, which will simultaneously improve their verbal and musical skills.