Letters to the Editor
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Who gives?
Looks like a lot of women give a shit about other people's marriages. This is women's lib?
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why it's our business
Politicians know better than anyone that even small missteps are ammunition for their political foes. The reason getting caught cheating on a spouse is the "business" of the voters is that it terminates--or at least severely damages––the politician's ability to fulfill the office we gave them. That's the reality of US political culture, for better or for worse.
So it really is a break with the public, or at least with those who voted for a given politician, when he chooses to do something that will derail him. It breaks the contract he made with his voters: if you vote for me, I will reward your vote by doing effective things in office.
I was furious with Bill Clinton, not because he got a blowjob in the White House or was not true to his wife but because he rolled the dice on a bad bet, when the stakes were the office we his voters gave him.
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Also His Fault
I don't really care whether she wanted to stand there or not - though I can't imagine she insisted on doing so. The bottom line is that HE should have insisted that she NOT be there, not only to spare her the (additional) humiliation, but also because she had absolutely nothing to do with his responsibility at either press conference. Would she be expected to stand next to him at a budget meeting? Every last fundraiser? No. So why in hell have her stand next to him? My guess is that in twisted Elliot-land, he managed to convince her that his seeing hookers was somehow HER fault due to her unwillingness to do the stuff he engaged with the call girl. What a beauty.
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I know violence is wrong, but...
Once, just once, I'd love to see the sweet-as-pie, submissive, stand-by-your-man wronged political wife (and they ALL take on that role in times like these, see Hillary), go on, stand behind him, and then slap him across the face in front of all the cameras.
I know, I know, violence is wrong. I know I shouldn't want to see it. But I do.
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Shock and Hurt
You don't need to be brilliant to figure this one out. She is shocked and extremely hurt. Her head is buzzing with about a thousand courses of actions she could take. Divorce is probably one of those actions she is contemplating. Meanwhile her husband is being punished by the law, the press and the public so there is no point in trying to punish him further.
In fact, at this point for her own survival and that of her daughters she needs to support him. She needs to show everyone that he is not a monster by standing by his side.
Her brain will settle on a course of action once the excitement dies down.
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Maybe it's an advantage to her
One possible reason Silda and Hillary stood by their husbands was to remain identified with them, even as they wish to distinguish themselves from them.
Both women will invariably be remembered in some way *because* of the transgressions of their spouses. People will remember their stoicism and assume they were strong, capable women, so that later, when they are trying to accomplish things on their own, they will noted for that.
As Hillary is not generally dinged for Bill's mistakes, neither will Silda, but after this recent episode her name will be known by many more people.
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Where Are the Grown Ups?
In yesterday's NYPOST, which I normally never read, four out of five columns written by women condemned Silda for "enabling" her husband--with one exception--Cindy Adams--the old gossip monger herself. She said it was foolish for a woman to leave her husband for infidelity. She was the only grown-up in the bunch.
Why Americans cling to childhood illusions about sex and male and female identity is a mystery. It is a denial to learn the truth about our nature as human beings, and when they are presented with it smack dab in the face they still deny it--like death itself.
For every crooked husband, wife, or lover there is a counterpart doing the same thing. Silda has her excuse now handed to her on a silver platter. She played her public part to the nines and she should be given credit for it. I don't believe any of the moralizers if it was their husband or wife they wouldn't do the same thing.
Who knows what happens behind closed doors among consenting adults. Nor should we care. Some matters are private and need to be protected for that reason alone. Spitzer's problem was his hypocrisy. Nothing else.
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Over-identification?
Rebecca Traister says that Silda Spitzer, like Hillary Clinton, is suffering from "over-identification," something Traister says Clinton has "endured" for more than two decades.
Funnily enough, Hillary doesn't seem to mind the "over-identifying" when it's time for her to take credit for any positive accomplishment of her husband's entire administration. Yet, Hillary is "suffering" from "over-identification?" Is the suffering the part where she tries to claim credit while distancing herself from any failures of her husband's administration, including his lying, her defending him, and yes, her own high-profile failure at health reform?
Sorry...not buying it.
If you marry a smart/charismatic/megalomaniac politician -- as most of them are -- and he, gasp gasp surprise surprise, ends up messing around -- as so many of them do -- then where's the big surprise here? Even the Bible thumping family values cretins aren't immune, in fact, they are the ones we end up hearing about dressed in fishnets in a seedy hotel, for goodness sake. Who wants to bet Gomer Huckabee has a few secrets we haven't heard about?
Silda, Hillary and their ilk want to dance with the devil, and then expect our sympathy. Sorry. One of the downsides of feminism is that you may get to make the decision, but if you make a colossally stupid one and get humiliated, and then stand there to give moral support to an immortal screwup, the public gets to think that you too are a screwup.
And who would be surprised if right now, Silda Spitzer's laying out her plans to run for Governor of New York herself. After all, her experience as First Lady of New York qualifies her to run the state, doesn't it? Maybe Hillary can offer some advice.